it’s pre-christmas again

i learned more about man’s visions of god this past year.  that’s all been good  very good.  learning back in 1993that god never whacked on me to punish me for something, but only stood next to me, crying the same tears i was crying, but his were for me and for the human he gave free will to.  because of free will, harm was done and god could not change that.  he loved what he created and gave them part of his omnipitance.  is he crazy for that?i think because we are dramiitic, we accept that.  if he is us and we are him, it works.  if he’s going to have a forever tailgaiter in shangrila and a bunch of virgins, it works.  i try to leave the baptists and holy rollers out of things as much as i can.  they get too loud about things.  i can’t compare the idiots in florida to any church group.  and to think they want to stalk dead children now, is just too much to not bitch about.

i don’t like it.  everybody has had a terrible time trying to live normal in the middle of a school full of dead little kids and their dead grownups.  when i look away from anything, i catch a glimpse of a soft brown eye, all eyelashes and brown eye.  blinking.  just once.
it’s been a hard week.  we are grieving together.

here we are doing well with this holiday thing we are doing.  we will have a buffet appitzer/dinner evening on the 28th of december.  at this time, we shall have music  before and after feeding times.  we have presents for children attending, so they will have themselves occupied, on their own while they are there.  the local kids have to leave theirs here when they leave for the night.  in that way, each time they come here, they don’t have to worry about bringing something along.  i will have it for them and it will always be right where they know it will be.  provided they put it back too.  we have a cabinet for their stuff.  it’s worked great so far.  inside the cabinet?  oh boy.  i’m glad it has a door.  heh.

we have a ton of new and healthy food by recipes we have never used before.  i have learned a while back to gather up a buch of non-expectancy when it comes to flavors in healthy foods.  i love fusion recipes.  i am eating things i just thought were pretty nasty.  and somethings are still just nasty.

i’ve been piddling with beads.  i have a lot of unfinished ideas and started projects sitting around in baskets and containers all over the 3 sides of my work desk.  5 different stackable work trays to hold probects in the middle of a job are there as well.  a 4 inch (or more) stack of printoffs for recipes of inspiration under the stackable work trays.  i have 3 smaller fitted bead mat trays.  i can pick them up and carry them around with me.  i have 3 big bead mats and use two of them spread out over the desk most of the time.  if i was a rich woman i would have a separate desk for pouning on metal and drilling and one more desk for something else. 

and now…. "if i was a rich man" is stuck in my ear. 
and ear worm. 
when i am going to bed. 
cool.