famines and feasting

i go from one to the other.  i realized i have not posted anything besides notes to other diary writers in a whole month.  i have to say, i tried.  i was done for the day and trying to make a little entry happen in the kindlefire.  it was not happening and i was done trying to make it so.

i do come out to od everyday (almost) and i read.  sometimes i note and other times i just nod and take in the wisdom.  sometimes i even cry.  like when kate’s brother in law killed kate’s sister.  what a terrible thing.

i read woman in the moon and i admire her and she is working on this 30 day survey.  it’s a good survey and i want to participate.  i’m hoping to come and do a part of it every day.  so here we go.  *said in my joker voice*

Day 1 – Write some basic things about yourself

i smoked for way too long(33 years) and wound up kicking my own ass healthwise.  i kept thinking that i still had time to quit smoking.  my real quit smoking date passed silently by me by at least 15 years earlier than i thought it would.

i have one lung left and severe emphysema in the left lung and pulmonary hypertension in the pulmonary artery.

i have some new health issues coming along.  i think they just happen as part of the disease process, but a few of them are medication booboos that we can still fix.  i got my first wheelchair 2 weeks ago.

i love designing and making jewelry since i became disabled from working in an office setting.  it keeps me going to the very next day.  i have so much left to learn about jewelry making.  

my support group is good.  i have started believing people i care about when they tell me they admire me and love me.  i cannot keep silently calling them liars if i want them to believe that i love and admire them.  today ben called me on the phone because he needed my soothing.  he is my 8 year old grandson that lives in arizona.  i feel blessed and grateful for that.  i feel thankful and grateful that i knew what to say to make him feel better.
i have so many friends all over the world that allow me to care about them and they encourage my friendship.  their friendship is good for all of us.   and i am grateful that i can see that.

i’m done fretting as much as i used to do.  a mentor of mine taught me that fretting does little good to change a thing and since i try to let more of it go, i feel more at ease.  another grateful dealie.

well alright.  good for the first day.  i have to dig around for that movieguy/govenor’s voice to say "i’ll be back."