Well, I’m here

Or hereabouts.

Hello. Happy 2008 n all that gear. My prediction for 2008: It’ll be reasonably similar to last year with different characters.

Or maybe not.

Hmm, that was a little unconnected. Anyway, the Xmas of 2007 was nice and I spent it ‘drinking, driving and sleeping’ (I’ve said that so much to so many people now it’s like quoting myself. Either that, or I’m running out of the ability to converse with people on any more than a basic level).

Currently, I’m listening to The Sea And Cake. Great band; Lauren bought me 3 of their albums for my birthday and Christmas. That’s PROOF that free MP3s work. I heard one song by them, got hooked and now own 3 albums. So… Fuck You Boneo (out of U2). Bands losing money due to mp3s? My arse.

Aquired another amplifer this year.. stuck it in the studio in work so I can record stuff properly while learning how to use some of the kit in there. It’s a bit bizarre currently, as The Esteemed Leader (Paul) has been on a course to learn how to do things with The Kit. However, I’ve been the only one making extensive use of it. He’s hardly touched it. Would have made more sense for me to go as I can see stuff I can use instantly, while he’s just got reams of notes. Fuck, I had to explain to him how the phone worked the other day (a bit more compelx than it sounds actually but still had to do it… oh well).

Typical way my company works. Back-Asswards.

Still, there are changes afoot in work. Usual shite. We were all show this video the other day to inspire us. It was about geese and how they help each other by honking and flying in packs (yes, I know this should be ‘flock’ but I’m choosing my words deliberately).

So what can we learn from the geese? Well, watch the video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm4n1OqXKBs

and read the following.

1. As each goose faps its wings, it creates an uplift for the geese that follow.

Translation: Basically, one person does all the hard work and the rest just coast through on the back of their efforts taking the credit and criticising when they see fit. However, if the person doing all the work slacks…woe betide them!!

2. If one goose falls out of formation, it feels the drag of flying alone.

Translation: Hahaha! Now look what you’re doing, being vaguely individual! Wanker! hahaha! Not so easy now, is it?! hahahaha!

3. When the lead goose tires, it drops back into the formation and another takes its place.

Translation: Thanks for all your hard work… take a break and we’ll find someone else to do your job and pretty soon you’ll be forgotten about. Oh and if you dare do anything FUN with your time off we’ll make you feel shit about it so when you come back you won’t be here long and you can fuck off and work some place else.

4. The geese flying in formation honk to encourage the others to keep up with them.

Translation: Work harder, not smarter. Harder! Then you’ll burn out and we’ll find someone else. You are expendable, contrary to what we occasionally pretend to tell you. Understand that we don’t like paying you and we’d rather have someone cheaper to do your job of lining your boss’ pockets, so if you’re not working hard enough… I’m sure you understand.

5. When a goose gets sick, two geese drop out of formation to look after it.

Translation: And if those two ‘geese’ dare to find any real sympathy with the ill one, look out. You’re out next. You will be left behind.

 6. Honk! Honk! Honk! Honk!

Translation: Like we give actually a shit! Like we actually give a shit!

Oh I love corporate bollocks. It’s all shite. As a final point on this, an errant goose managed to kill a member of my family once (she was a small child and was scared to death, literally, by the thing) so I’m not sure we must be looking to geese for inspiration and analogies…

Maybe we could try vultures? Still pretty evil but probably a little more open about their motives.

See, I usually try to find something positive within such exercises but… hell… I’m finding it hard to think here.

I’ve been pretty convinced that the whole world is insane lately. I mean, looking for examples of good behaviour in geese?! Aren’t gorillas a little closer to us, genetically speaking? Oh but that’s a male dominated society and that’s not what humans are any more (ahaha, yeah… right).

This is merely an observation… but women who suceed and do well become more macho than men are? Look at Margaret Thatcher. If she had turned up in Germany, around about 1930 and been male… well, you work it out. She combined the worst of men and women to make the horrible vulturesque society that runs through Britain today. Cat-like Female ruthlessness and viciousness, crossed with Bull-like Male stubborness and agression. (Oh look, there are the animal analogies again!!).

But this is the society in which we live. I’ve always been of the opinion that left to our own devices, all humans can offer something into a society which will be of value, regardless of their sex/race/whatever. Of course, we’re all to busy being whatever we think we should/shouldn’t be to actually do this.

Stephen Fry put it nicely (apologies if this is an incorrect quote but I think it’s more or less there!)

"A human worries about just how good a human he or she is being. However, a bear doesn’t. A bear doesn’t go to sleep at night wondering ‘have I been a good bear today?’ It just does what bears do"

 Although the statement makes a large assumption into the psyche of Ursine creatures, it is true. We can’t be anything that being a human does not allow us to be, good, bad or indifferent. We can’t be any better or worse than we are. We just Are.

Alot of people would try and invoke some sort of excuse for alot of their actions, like they’re ‘doing it for [a] god’ or whatever to make them feel better about the Thisness of time. In the conclusions, it doesn’t matter at all, as we all end up dead and the world goes on turning no matter what we do today, tomorrow, or the next day. Things come and things go and things become distant memories. People will always be People.

Final point, something I read yesterday in a book I’m reading (Red Mars – Kim Stanley Robinson). An emperor once said to his wise men:

"Give me something that will make me happy when I am sad and sad when I am happy"

So the wise men went away, had a think and came back. They gave the emperor a piece of paper. On that paper was written

"This too shall pass"

Enough for now, I’m hungry!