Totally personal
Most people won’t see the funny side of this conversation. I don’t care. I’m putting it in to make me giggle at some point in the future.
*Disclaimer – the views in this lot are supposed to be satirical. If you can’t see a joke when it hits you like a train then bugger off and sit on a cabbage for the rest of your life. Your mother doesn’t love you. Sweinhund*
Ouch says:
alright prince
Ouch says:
want to hear some Olchfa related news
Ouch says:
?
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
ooh go on then
Ouch says:
Gary Mages is dead
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
no way!
Ouch says:
yup
Ouch says:
lung cancer
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
bloody hell
Ouch says:
not entirely unforseen, though
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
no
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
he drank and smoked like there was no tomorrow
Ouch says:
i told dave webster (i bumped into him earlier) and he was shocked
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
ahh… i’ll always remember him asking me for my note for pe cos i couldnt be botherd
Ouch says:
then again, dave couldn’t predict 6 o’clock at half five
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
did he ask ewe ow it was angin, like?
Ouch says:
funnily enough, yes
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
hmm, i see i still have his character correct
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
did you find a stick for him to chase?
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
it would have made his day
Ouch says:
no, i was preoccupied
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
youve upset him now. He’ll turn on you
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
go ferile
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
but back to Mages
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
that is sad
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
part of my…teenagehood?
Ouch says:
"lolrolfmao"
Ouch says:
"gentlemen, this could very well mean the end of th world… of warcraft"
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
there will come a day when people will speak of ‘a time before msn’
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
in fact, i think they do now
Ouch says:
did such a time exist?
Ouch says:
did dinosaurs rule the earth?
Ouch says:
was it before the wheel?
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
umm… 1998 i think
Ouch says:
the dark ages
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
and tony blair still stalks the land
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
praying that the unwary socialist wont see through his decidedly right wing policies
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
George Best has gone though
Ouch says:
good job i’m a staunch right-winger
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
(no, youre… well… moany?)
Ouch says:
exactly
Ouch says:
tory
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
no, Monay
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
*monay
Ouch says:
monet?
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
its that few little seats where the peers sit that have gone to sleep… only to wake up and mutter ‘return to the gold standard… capital idea… what…’ and fall asleep again to dream of big fires, bloodhounds, black slaves and the whole world being pink… but not gay mind you, not like today… days of the empire! Though that sort of thing went on in the dorms of Eton and Harrow… but it…
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
was just par for the course…
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
like a good set of golf clubs. None of this nip rubbish.
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
We lost over 3 regiments to those yellow bastards during the war
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
all good officers.
Ouch says:
a return to colonialism, that’s what this country needs
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
Bugger the men…
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
yes, days of the empire
Ouch says:
right
Ouch says:
enough ranting
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
where most problems were solved with a quick few village burnings
Ouch says:
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
oh this isnt ranting, dear boy, this is just how it *should* be
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
bloody yanks can go and swivel too
Ouch says:
i concurr
Ouch says:
pack those darkies back off to the plantations
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
its what they like, you see? they understand the jungle and its law
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
they dont understand civilisation
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
and we’re cruel to get them to live in it
Ouch says:
put those bloody gays back in their place
Ouch says:
i.e. san fransisco
Ouch says:
they don’t appreciate our culture and civilisation
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
no, send them to Botany Bay… if a man is caught with another shirt lifter, pack them off there
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
they say Lord kitchener was gay… but I think it’s just natural for one older man to have favourite young staff officers
Ouch says:
right
Ouch says:
i concurr
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
it should be an honour to share the field marshall’s bed
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
take the place of his wife
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
things like that
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
<strong>
good for a young subaltern’s career
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
pass the brandy, there’s a good chap… I’ll tell you about my tales of the sudan
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
millions of niggers, black as your hat
Ouch says:
and how was your day?
Ouch says:
productive?
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
shot a few servants
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
told them to run with the hounds
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
got in the way of a few pounds of buckshot
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
oh well
Ouch says:
and back inreality
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
pleanty more in the village
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
if they dont want to work, I’ll burn a few houses. Worked in Chad
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
should work in Shropshire
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
(as to me, it was lauren’s birthday today so Ive been in cambs)
Ouch says:
awww loverly
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
most of the natives cabt speak the bloody lingo anyway
Ouch says:
tomorrow is m-day
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
no, its friday
Ouch says:
(and i’m not upfor an interview tomorrow, not yetanyway)
Ouch says:
nope
Ouch says:
i’ve got a date tomorrow
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
as in a woman?
Ouch says:
aye
Ouch says:
a real one, ‘n’ all
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
wow
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
if it lasts anything longer than a month i’ll do something drastic
Ouch says:
such as
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
give up smoking
Ouch says:
you don’t smoke!
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
yes, which is why it would be drastic… i’d have to take it up, get hooked, then give it up which would take ages and involve alot of stress
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
and be drastic
Ouch says:
gimp
Ouch says:
she works for the competition, though
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
2012?
Ouch says:
you utter, utter bastard
Ouch says:
River Island
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
honey trap them
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
make her reveal all their shop moves for the next 3 years
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
and then pre-empt! Pre-empt!
Ouch says:
for all i’m worth?
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says
:
the board of sharp suits and grinning wankers will be pleased.
Ouch says:
there is no board anymore
Ouch says:
it’s just Sir Phil
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
and Sir Phil’s cronies?
Ouch says:
no, sir phil answers to no-one
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
there are always sharp suits and grinning wankers
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
everywhere
Ouch says:
well
Ouch says:
yes
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
its like alien
Ouch says:
the company
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
you think thats the end after every take over… company failure
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
but nooo… back they come
Ouch says:
Weyland-Yutani Corporation
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
from whence they… went
Ouch says:
did you see Alien Vs Predator?
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
no
Ouch says:
i’ve NEVER left a film early
Ouch says:
ever
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
well
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
the 3rd and 4th alien films are toss
Ouch says:
apart from that
Ouch says:
there’s a reason 3 was crap, and 4, well…
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
end of 2: yey! all saved! girl! hero! ripley! and umm… well, the robot can be glued back together
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
start of 3: all fucking dead. Did you like that? hmm? Happy endings my arse, the debtors were taking away the TV and we needed another film because merch sales were on their arse
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
end of 3: resolved! Ripley in molten lead. not coming back. the end. fini.
Ouch says:
all the crew on 3 had t-shirts made emblazend with the word "Fuck"
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
start of 4: fuck, they brought her back and now shes an alien… somehow
Ouch says:
because there was so much interference from the studio, it became the moto
Ouch says:
motto
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
doesnt surprise…
Ouch says:
it had the potential to be BRILLIANT
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
so the plot of 4? Oh jeez… get tooled up, swimming aliens and one with a face.. or something
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
got any better ideas? whats that? alien 5? bugger off, Id rather do a fucking crossover with predator! haha!
Mr JWhere has the day gone? says:
AVP: the rent was due so we started barrel scraping. sorry
Ouch says:
Action-Figure Meleé 2: We decided to throw away the script, now here’s 90 minutes of gratuitous shots of merchandising tie-ins
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