Happy Birthday

When I played my trumpet for the first time,
I looked up and saw you smiling.
When I played my first football game,
I looked up and saw you cheering.
When I was in my first play,
I looked up and saw you taking pictures.
When I got my first A,
I looked up and saw you telling anyone that would listen.
When I had my first sleep over,
I looked up and saw you making snacks for us.
When I got out of my first surgery,
I looked up and saw you nervously waiting for me to wake up.
When I stood next to you as we burried Papa,
I looked up and saw you wipe my tears away
When I went on my first date,
I looked up and saw you fixing my hair.
When I got my first job,
I looked up and saw you waiting to pick me up.
When we couldn’t afford to pay the bills,
I looked up and saw you counting change for my lunch money.
When I drove my first car,
I looked up and saw you nodding encouragingly.
When I played my first solo at halftime,
I looked up and saw you mouthing "that’s my grandson".
When I dyed my hair blue,
I looked up and saw you trying not to laugh.
When my band played our first show,
I looked up and saw you dancing in your seat.
When I moved out on my own,
I looked up and saw you waving goodbye.
When I got my first tattoo,
I looked up and saw you sigh.
When I came back home to take care of you,
I looked up and saw you relax.
When you held my hand and said your goodbyes,
I looked up and saw you cry.
When I was holding your hand and stroking your beautiful face,
I looked up and saw you die.

Now…
When I rush home to tell you the good news of the day,
I’ll look up and you won’t be there.
When no one understands and I need reassurance,
I’ll look up and you won’t be there.
When the world is against me and I need your advice,
I’ll look up and you won’t be there.
When I mess up dinner and need your recipes,
I’ll look up and you won’t be there.
When I get married,
I’ll look up and you won’t be there.
When I buy my first home,
I’ll look up and you won’t be there.
When I have my first child,
I’ll look up and you won’t be there.

But when it’s my turn,
My turn to guide my child,
My turn to be the hero,
My turn to make it all okay…

I’ll look up, and finally,
I’ll see you.

Beverly A. Malaspino
My Nana & My Best Friend
April 6, 1930 – September 8, 2008