Seven years ago today….

Seven years ago today I had a breast biopsy that changed my life. Just one week previous, on my 44th birthday, I had a mammogram and ultrasound that showed some suspicious areas. The mammogram wasn’t conclusive, dense breast tissue getting in the way of a clear image. The ultrasound showed more but still not a clear picture. The biopsy came back positive, got the results 2 days later after one of our rare blizzards. Eventually the diagnosis was Stage III B breast cancer. I had a 5cm tumor in my right breast and 5 positive lymph nodes, clumped together.

My road through treatment and recovery has been a long one. I had a lumpectomy and lymph node dissection first, then mastectomy. I had an IV port put in under the skin of my upper left chest which is a good thing since I have poor veins. I had 5 out of 6 rounds of chemo, felt like I was going to die after the 5th one so opted out of the last treatment. I had 6 weeks of radiation in the middle of which I had to take a break because I was so burned/cooked from the radiation. I had a hysterectomy because the tumor was hormone receptive and I was taking no chances with estrogen. I was on an estrogen suppressing drug that sent my RA into flare up for 2 solid years. I had the first step of reconstruction one year after radiation treatments were over. The surgeon screwed up and ignored a staff infection and I was almost hospitalized for it! I had my IV port removed at some point, can’t remember the exact timing of it since my brain suffered chemo fog. I still have cognitive impairment from the chemo. I had another step of the reconstruction done 6 months after the first step by another surgeon, having lost faith in the 1st one. Went through a divorce, probably caused from the stress of the cancer and his emotional instability (he is bi-polar but won’t admit it). I finally had the last step of the reconstruction done last September, aside from a nipple, and this surgeon, #3, corrected a weakness in my abs where the 1st surgeon removed muscle and blood vessels and didn’t patch things up well enough. I almost had a hernia but that’s the drawbacks of the 1st surgeon. Next week I get my new nipple!!!

Along the way I have fired 2 surgeons and one radiation doc, all who had the personalities of a wet rag and about as many scruples. I suffered from osteopenia due to the hormone suppressing drugs and my RA in flare up from chemo drugs and the suppression drugs. I have permanent cognitive impairment due to the chemo and other drugs, have a damaged thyroid and enough scar tissue on my chest to make a horror film. I was granted disability during treatment and after a recent reassessment I am continued on disability. I used to be an English teacher and even taught Gifted Lit, now that’s just a memory.

I’m not bitter or want to sound negative about my experiences, quite the contrary! I am feel this was all a learning experience and along the way I lost a husband that was dead weight and found love in a good friend. Life is beautiful and good!