Time to Forget

I wish I could forget you. Forget you in the moment. My life is better now, but I am riding the edge of insanity with all this thinking of you. Seriously. It’s been almost a year and a half of almost constant thinking of you. It is soooo annoying. I wish I could say that knowing you and being close to you has been worth it, but in reality, it’s almost worse now because I can reach out and not get a response and now I EXPECT one. Before at least I knew it was a shot in the dark.

Isn’t this whole thing a shot in the dark? Isn’t it all playing with fire? Like the “loaning out” of you and the “protecting you” and the long hugs and the hand holding and the cheek to cheek because it’s “loud” and we can’t hear each other?

Neither one of us can afford to implode our lives.

I just wish it was different. This on the line thing is killing me.