Exactly How It Is

I am exhausted. It has been a long, stressful, emotional week and I want to crawl into a hole and die. I don’t want to deal with anything. I just want to lay around doing nothing. But of course I have to do all this Christmas bullshit.

I think today I am hurting over the fact that she isn’t the friend I thought she was  she isn’t the friend I’d hoped she’d be  it’s an impossibly unfair standard, of course  I have ridiculously high expectations  but nonetheless, it is and I am heartbroken

this is the part where I hide  this is the part where I fade away  this one the part where I resent the hell out of everything

I don’t even care enough to go back and edit this  I don’t care enough to write the post I had already written in my head

I would hate her, but I don’t have it in me  so I just hurt  hurt  hurt