Dead but not dead in 1980’s

The Army in all its wisdom decided that I was dead in 1988 and stopped my pay.

Yep, one day I did not get my pay check and when I complained I was told I had no complaint since I was dead.

The computer said I was dead so I must be dead!

Advised the folks at the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS) Office the computer was wrong and I was not dead.

After several hours of talking about the matter the finance clerk decided I must be alive and not dead. DFAS decided to pay me by cash till they could get the computer problem fixed.

For an entire year the DFAS folks would bring me to life and the computer would kill me off. Guess I should have ask for disability pay or something after being killed so many times.

Each month I would get paid in cash and tell the DFAS folks to be sure and not pay me the back pay by check since I was being paid in cash each month. Each month the DFAS folks would assure me they would make sure this minor problem of my being dead would be resolved.

It took an entire year for the folks at DFAS to convince the computer I was not dead so the computer brought me back to life and I stayed alive. Then the next month I received an end of month check for not one month but for thirteen months. Yep, the computer apparently did not know those friendly folks at DFAS had been paying me in cash all those months I had been dead.

Put the money in the bank (this was before direct deposit) and waited for the DFAS folks to discover their mistake, or should I say the computers mistake?

Got a call from the finance office demanding I march down to his office and pay DFAS the years pay immediately.

Reminded the Finance Officer I reminded DFAS each and every month they should not pay me for the entire year since they had been paying me in cash and they did it anyway. The Finance Officer ordered me to pay the money immediately.

Suggested the Finance Officer take the problem up with my bank since I was not sure the money was really in the bank. After all the money was paid to a dead guy who just happened to have my name. After all the computer could not be wrong!

Did not spend any of the money but did keep it in the bank for a year while the DFAS and Finance folks went nuts.

It was time for them to go nuts. Heck I had been dead for a year and that could not have been good for me. Smiling