This whole thing’s like a hurricane.

Mike came over tonight and I confessed as much as I could remember, the lies, the hiding, the running, the sex, the personables, the bitch.

For a moment, I felt wounded. Because maybe for the first time I realized how pointless the whole thing was, I know it changed me and all, I’m talking about, something else.

I came to the realization that I’m the one who got left with the bad egg, while Mike was let free. I was the one stuck with the bill. (And the tip.) Just realized it I guess, it was just a blow to my ego for a moment I guess, where I fully realized what a schmuck (I never use that word, huh) I had been.

I think we became friends tonight. Things just flowed, we talked of old memories past, the beach and how it’s changed, how this summer sucked, how (am I going to long? yeah.) yeah.

So he ended up staying for, oh, 6 hours, listening to my new CD’s (any CD bought in the last year, to him) and mostly Ben Folds Five, not an experience like it folks.

No worries, no promises, I was scared to post because I thought it would mess up my other entries if they ever got back on (for later reference: OD was hacked and all my entries from both diaries got deleted) but I realized it’s a different thing, I don’t know how to describe it, like a lane 1 and a lane 2.

I don’t know how I feel about it. I had saved all my entries up to when I left a month ago, but none of the 4-5 that I wrote when I came back. If it comes back, great, if not, well then I guess this’ll just continue on from where we left off.

dj IMed me and we might say hello when I visit OK in Dec. (Like the abbreviations?) He said something in the likes of “OD just made it easier to start over.”

Damn right John. I’ve never called you John, really, but damn, right.

If this is to be me starting over, think of this as a prologue. If not, ? I don’t know. Bye.

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September 17, 2004

RYN: Me too, sweetheart.