The trooth.

I am depressed today. I have anger in me today. I am walking upright with dead eyes and no smile. I am angry; this is who I used to think I was in the center. That when nothing is working out and I’m at my most clumsy and error-committing, this angry sad dead serious and naked persona which inhabits my being was my true self. I know now that it’s just me at my weakest, and it’s just a lot easier to hand myself over to the enemy than to fight, than to expend energy with no promise of reward or success. I know this to be my weakest link: that I don’t move unless something is guaranteed.

Behaving like I do when I’m like this is not my center; I will say, I am being true to my emotions, I’ve always been very good at being transparent. I don’t believe in myself.

I’m a bad actor.