Smile. (have i used that before?)

I went to lunch with one of the staff from church today. I was kind of open with the fact that I feel uncomfortable with all the attention I get when I make a video that plays in church.

I’ve been reading a book called “The Silence of Adam” and one of the main points it’s brought up so far is that we focus too much on our skills, our talents, and not enough on our character. We praise people for what they do, music or business, and not for the strength or deepness of their relationship with God (which builds character). I think, partly, that’s what makes me uncomfortable with receiving people’s “praise” at church — I start to believe it. It becomes who I am, my videos or what God is doing through me, as opposed to the character he is building in me. Hearing it over and over how good my video was, how it touched them, goes to my head.

It’s gotten to the point where I dread being told by someone that they liked my video. I’m in a season of sin-management with this, where I don’t want to sin (by humanly enjoying their praise) and so I…don’t even know. I don’t know how to take it.

One of the things from the book is being more interested in Christ than in ourselves. I have to admit, with videos I probably am more into myself. It’s more about where my mind is directed toward as I receive complements.

James, the guy I went to lunch with, had a lot of good things to say. We’re alike in that we both receive a lot of attention for what we do at the church (he’s the funny guy, one of the hosts of church events). He said, “it’s not about thinking less of yourself, but thinking about yourself less.”

I’m happy because I’ve also made a friend in another young church-worker. His name is John King. At the church he leads at he gets a lot of attention too. He’s 22. We get along. We saw “Indiana Jones” last night. So Good! I like being open. God gave me a gift in him, I think. I like him a lot.

Jon