Pages 1-4,
I cant stop looking at your picture.
Ive never felt this. It didnt feel like a cliché today.
I shouldnt even be writing now, since the only thing I have to say I say literally hundreds of times today (thats weird).
Your picture is so pretty.
I dont feel embarrassed saying it.
I dont want it to lose its meaning.
Im listening to the Guster CD Sarah gave me.
Real good lyrics, I dont want this to end. I want you there.
(Those werent lyrics.)
Shes all I want and all that I live for. Now those are lyrics.
Youre beautiful, Youre Playing Both Sides! One of those was a quote by Sean Connery from Entrapment, one was not, guess which was you?
Well, both. But I coined the phrase youre beautiful. Thats right, first one ever to say it. (Well, the way that I do.)
(I dont even know about that, but I mean it with you so much.)
Say thank you or whatever.
I get kind of angry that Mike and I dont hang out anymore because whenever hes not with you Im with you, which means hes with Kyle (or he Could always be with Kelleigh )
(Im just stupid!)
Ive gotta figure out a way to make this work, Youre Beautiful though!
(Its just every time I look at your stupid stupid pretty stupid picture.)
Your smile
(Those dots are angry love.)
Guster.
Hmm. How can I still hang out with Mike and hang out with you the same amount of time as we do now withOut hanging with Both of you at the same time?
Someones gonna win over the other this is stupid.
I love the clap tracks on Guster CDs.
Im happy to get up this early, especially for you my Old McDonald.
It feels good to wake up. It feels good to see you (to hold your hand to talk to you to look at your stupid stupid pretty stupid picture right now) and to write you love letters and leave them for you for when you get home.
You like it?
(Say you like ya, I just didnt wanna write it, it looks so corny.)
Ahhhhh Pretty!
Youre just always looking at me with the picture! Thats how I love your smile.
A million ways.
(I also like how your boobs are in the bottom of the picture, dont be angry.)
Youre (sigh) beautiful? (I ask as a question because I dont know how long it takes for someone to become desensitized from a word or compliment, But I Mean It Every Time.)
Im so jealous at how good a filmmaker We Anderson is (Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums). I just saw pictures from the Set of his new film (The Life Aquatic) and, just, Set Photos of the cast (and the color theyre wearing, mmmgrrrrr) makes me so jealous.
I wont be as good as him.
Oh well.
Youre still pretty. Youre smile is comforting my sadness.
I love film. How do I make them good?
I want your help. I Want You Up There. (Get it?) (With Me.)
You know, to rekindle Mikes and my friendship, all I have to do is write a good script.
(Guster is so good but Im not jealous of them.)
(I just respect and love em.)
God youre fantastic.
(The Picture!)
It makes me feel so good, having you here smiling at me.
You know, I could probably write and not get discouraged if you were here staring at me like this.
Hmmm
I———-wanttobehappy. – Guster.
Save Rushmore for me too. Please?
You make me want to write. A full script. Youre great.
N*TAN-G-BULL.
(You should buy their new record; I heard its pretty good.)
(No bull!)
I want to wake up next to you every morning.
I called Sarah last night after we got off the phone knowing it wouldnt be a good conversation.
It wasnt, I knew it.
She was irritable. It lasted for 30 seconds.
I just dont want her and I to change
I love her.
And Im just floating in you now.
So good fucking looking.
And fuck Mountain Dews, I dont care. I dont like that, that it I dont know.
(Oh well.) Ah well, I was gonna write, but then theres this porn website my depressed friend David (of my loser friends) showed me once called Ah me that had a lot of older women, it was kinda hot, but its the dirtiest Ive felt at a porn website, and I dont like feeling too dirty, you know that my cuddlelove.
Ive gone back twice, but havent for at least months.
You give me inspirado.
(Tenacious Ds word for inspiration, didnt know if you knew.)
Jennie=Muse.
Mike=i dont know.
Sarah=Burn buddy.
Jenn=I love you.
Kyle=I miss him, actually.
Jenn=Whenever I try to think of my next person to write down, your name comes up, even if Im thinking of someone else.
My mom=happy with my step-daddy.
Me=stopped myself from writing Jenn again.
Dad=Heavily in debt, :(.
Amelie=Great French film. Ah! Youd love it save it for me.
Jenn:You dont have to.
Mike=I do love him, Im just, dont know Jenn. What should I do. Seriously answer me on this as my friend.
My films wont be as good as Wes Andersons, no they just wont be in the same vein (I wish they were), but Ill still make respectable films.
Come to New York.
This Guster CD is more Melancholy overall. Probably why I like it more. (As an album, not as a you.)