Not about love.

I’ve downloaded the entirety of the leaked Fiona Apple abum, and it’s great. As I laid on my bed I remembered her last album in ’99, and how I’d always fall asleep crying to it. I also have been obsessing about buying an iMac, spening a lot of my last 2 day’s free time finding out exactly what I need, how muhc it’ll cost, staying up till for and getting 3 hours sleep.

It hasn’t made me happy, and honestly in a way taken me away from my christian “walk”.

I feel like I’m addicted to God, in a bad way. I feel like I can’t be happy without him now, it’s like nothing is as good unless I feel like I’m puting him first. I have an addictive personality, an obsessive one, and it is probably even unhealthy to want to be this devoted to God.

I went for 5 days without masturbating, then did it yesterday, and it was good, but not as good as a 5 day wait should have been, has been in the past.

Should God be a drug?