Let’s sleep together on the phone. Let’s never sa

So we kissed and it wasn’t all it was.

I felt sick to my stomach on the way home. And I’m giving you the wrong idea about this, no, listen:

I like her, I like her mouth, I like when it touches mine, but…she kissed me and I saw it there, coming towards me, and (just so you know for the last day I’ve been asking around about kissing since it’s been a 2 year drought for me, so I sort of regained my something, my some sort of I’ve-Kissed-Before thing) I kissed back, we kissed 4 lip locks and then she went into her house.

I felt weird afterward but thought it was because kissing was a commitment or something, but that is not what it was.

I went to James’ (Ellis) and told him, and I was acting really, really Excited. Like I should, like one should when they get kissed for the first time in 2 years.

But I wasn’t excited. Something was wrong. But we’ll move on.

I was driving to Kyle’s to tell Mike and she called, as expected, and said she was outside talking to me, so I drove over there again and she came outside in her boxers.

Mmm.

And she came to my car. And I just wanted to talk to her, I just wanted to sit again, and she kissed me again.

And This Time It Was Real Great, nice.

And longer, too.

Yeah.

Ah, yeah.

So, then we said bye, she gave me a smile, and let’s move on again.

We talk on the phone again when I get to Kyle’s and something is definitely not straight here. Our flow is gone, and I’m thinking “God you should have ended the night with the kiss.”

It was a good fucking damnit kiss.

(Even if I’m not the best, you see, I’m not, I see.)

So she asked me if I’m moody.

And you know I am. But I don’t want to scare her away.

To make this entry shorter, I don’t want to bore anything or one, I felt sick to my stomach because the first kiss wasn’t beautiful enough for my standards and I want to be a truthful person always and I feel icky not telling her I’M MOODY, I’M SAD, I’M FUCKED UP, LOOK AT THIS AND GET AWAY.

I don’t want her to get away.

And also.

Her dad won’t let her be alone with guys yet (she’s 15, of course) and she can’t come over to see Magnolia, yet. And that really annoyed me.

I like her a lot, now. And it was weird because the.

I’m just so used to writing the love story. And it’s not how it goes. It goes different, and sometimes makes you feel like you’re going to throw-up after you first kiss.

And not in that way.