La di da di da di da di da di.

I don’t know how to be okay with myself when I’m confident, because for the past almost-year I’ve associated that with having a big head, with taking people for granted and not caring.

But it’s who I am. And maybe my associations aren’t fair, maybe I’m a nice guy, and all those things were just piles of shit on top of me, which I added, which I put there, but it wasn’t totally me. You see? It’s just hard for me to be comfortable, because I’ve also worked so hard lately to try and put everyone else first, and tried to be happy to make everyone happy, and that didn’t work out when I got sad, Obviously.

So, I guess I’m trying to add my confidence with my love, caring, and blah blah, but, it’s just really hard to know where the line is drawn.

In the good news, I’m an extremist. And I love God!, okay? But maybe I was being a bit…overzealous? I had imagined that I would be perfect, that I had to be, to be IN MY CHRISTIAN WALK.

I’m a sinner, right? Even if you don’t believe sins, you must believe in faults. Some things you cannot change, sometimes you just won’t be good enough.

Well okay. And I’ve come to terms with that. And everything’s better for now.

I just bought the new album from “The Decemberists”, I like it.

“And if you don’t love me let me go.”