In prayer.

I have been praying a lot. Yesterday she texted me and said she was taken aback by how I reacted to not seeing her for a few days. I freaked out to her on the phone. She said she needed some time to think about it all.

Through much praying I have come to a point where I am stable again. What happens is I put her in the place where God is; not make her a god, she just takes that place in my mind. God is back there. It’s all a process. Making mistakes, stepping back, making my relationship right with God. We haven’t talked in 2 days. I just prayed about it, telling him what I want, with full trust in him (as much as I have, and the extra that he is providing) and I prayed about whether I should give up.

And to my surprise, he said yes. I asked again, same response. “What? Other than those times when I freaked out and didn’t trust you, have I followed you?” “Yes.” “Even with asking her out?” “Yes.”

“And you want me to give up?” “Yes.”

“Can we still be friends?” “Yes.”

So I’m going to stop pursuing her. I’m still a bit shocked by all of this. But I follow him, because I truly trust God.

I’m going to pray about it a bit more when I’m off work, just to not make a quick decision.

Sigh.