I’m losin’ you. I’m losin’ all control.

My boss told me I was annoying today, I can tell you why, it’s because I ate for 30 minutes there.

Which other people do too, after they’re done working, but I am different, partly (and he wouldn’t admit this) because I’m just annoying in general.

You just get used to my annoyance and start to laugh at it. He hasn’t laughed yet, though.

(It’s always been like this.)

I drove home unhappy because of that, playing Kenna’s “War In Me”.

Then I drove Kyle to work and told him I probably wouldn’t come over tonight (to, you know, sleep with Lindsey again) because of it’s not right to hang out with “them” when I’d just be going over to sleep with her. He said he understood, I think he really did.

But I drove home with Rooney’s “Losing All Control” and it felt like the fall, weather-wise. Windows down. Speeding, singing. Who cares.

Felt good.

(This is such shit but it’s so who I am now. I am such shit and I except it now. This shit is me.

And I lay in it.)