(…i’d like to hear a little…guitar…)

I think I stay in too much. I’ve spent the last 3 days celebrating one of my good friend’s from high school’s wedding, Josh.

At his bachelor party we smoked cigars and watched “Brokeback Mountain”. What a night!

I met a girl who was a bridesmaid. Her name was Elizabeth, and I ended up converting her to Ben Folds. We’re a lot alike, and she seemed genuinely interested in me.

I’ve succesfully been keeping away from lust lately (even during “Brokeback”, which is a feat in itself). I didn’t lust at all for Elizabeth. I really liked her. She lives in Athens, Georgia. This other great guy, one of the groomsmen, Ryan, I talked to him about it. He said he loves crushes, because usually nothing comes of them. I’d never thought of it like that.

She also has a boyfrind back home, a christian guitarist. I have a crush on her, and it’s going nowhere!

We did switch addresses — not email — and that will be cool. I’ve been reading a lot of books lately, very well-informed books regarding the christian view on sex and dating, marriage, etc. It’s helped.

I have no idea what I’m doing after December, which is when I’ll be done with Community College. (It’s funny, I’ll capitalize “Community College” but not “christian”.) I have a few different openings right now, my friend in New York City invited me to live with him and his girlfriend for 300 bucks a month, which is what I pay here. I don’t know if I’d be really lonely though. They’d be my only friends. If I did I’d probably attend this christian school there called “King’s College”, which is housed in the Empire State Building. I’m not sure how much I’d want to go there.

My friend’s in Oklahoma invited me to live with them for free. I’d have fun. My question is: would I be wasting time?

I won’t do anything until God lets me know. I don’t want to be running away from my loneliness here in Florida, which, whenever I hang out with my old friends or, really, around true christians, I am made very aware of.

You know, Elizabeth is truly christian. 🙂

I’m lonely. I’m getting stronger though.

I cry so easily these days. The wedding was tough to get through — especially since I was filming it. Having recently been baptized, the ceremony really hit me hard. These two people were making a lifelong commiment. I know it seems like that statement means nothing these days. But I get a sense of it with my relationship with Jesus. Maybe it’s ’cause I’m more emotional these days, but I really felt God there yesterday. So anyway. I love life.

Pray that I can figure out what to do, or more that God lets me in on the plans. I find myself now lusting after different cities instead of the female form.

I love the female creation.

There’s also Mars Hill in North Carolina (the city and the college), but I guess I didn’t think of it back there because I’d be going more for the schooling than the friends. Ryan (the great groomsman) does live there, as does Josh. It’s 20 minutes from Asheville. I think that’s all I have to say today. Have a good day.