I write as I listen to ‘At Last’.

Or maybe I shouldn’t listen to that as I write. It’s not like I’m naturally writing to it, like I just started writing as it happened to play. I double-clicked it.

I’m stopping it.

So what I’m writing about here is how I watched Adaptation tonight. It kinda re-awakened me, because I shut down my love. (The only way I know how to say it.)

I just want to explain it then hopefully these string of entries will stop and I can get back to how I naturally write, after Jenn, well before Jenn I’d fall in love with anyone, and I’ve written a lot about that in the past, and probably just a few entries ago.

So after Jenn, I kinda shut it all off, didn’t try to persue, set on making my life first before complicating things. And also, I just think I’m too much of a problem for anyone anyway.

There’s a line in Adaptation when the guy’s talking about plants and bees, and he says, “By simply doing what they’re designed to do, something large and magnificent happens. In this sense they show us how to live – how the only barometer you have is your heart. How, when you spot your flower, you can’t let anything get in your way.”

Yeah.

And, the other big quote, “You are what you love, not what loves you.”

And I just wanted to let you know that I haven’t found my one, that I hope I do, and if I feel like it is, I’m not gonna act like it doesn’t matter.

I apologize for these entries.