I messed up.

I saw a naked woman this evening. I was at my friend’s party and we were swimming and they convinced her to get naked. (Now, theoretically I didn’t join in on telling her to get naked…but I didn’t tell her not to.) And she was naked.

So I saw a naked woman, I saw her private parts, and I wanted to look away. But every time it was mentioned, and she would almost take them off (this is before they were off) my man-feelings would let me know: Look.

So I didn’t set a very good example of a life dedicated to Christ.

(I must remember: two steps forward, one step back.)

Debauchery is so easy!

On a better note (and cleaner and crisper and more beautiful) I went to a three-day conference called the Leadership Summit, which my church invited me to, and it was awesome. Today I was convicted of my selfishness of looking for a girlfriend. Now I know that doesn’t seem so selfish, but the last speaker said this: “A life spent in the pursuit of anything but the transformation of human hearts is worthless.” (I think he used a different word than “worthless”, but it’ll do.) Lately all I do is focus on the absence of women, even Godly women, but that’s not what I should be focusing on. My life is Christ’s, and I have to accept it and make my focus showing others who He is.

(And, again, I did not accomplish this tonight.)

I’m not going to go to bed tonight, so I’m just cleaning my room, which is so unbearably dirty. This is not an overstatement or exaggeration; in every direction is 2 feet of junk.

So I guess I’ll go. Hopefully I made some friends tonight, I think I did.