Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

I read some one’s blog today. “But I knew instanteously upon meeting him that Jon Strong only cared about Jon Strong, except when it was beneficial for him to do other wise.”

I’m really trying to get my head around it. It comes from a girl at work who liked me and I did stuff with her, and I was friend’s with her but not a very good friend, and is she true? She also said I was a bad person. I say that about people. It’s weird hearing someone say it about me.

Am I focused on myself? Yeah. I feel like shit — I, see? But isn’t this what a diary is? She talked about how I would write about my feelings for others, and how I felt bad for this friend but not for her, and I’m an asshole now? A bad person? I don’t get it.

I treated her badly though, yeah. (Jon Strong only cared about Jon Strong. I’m thinking of instances right now, examples.)

(She also quoted a Fiona Apple song about me, alluding to me being a “little boy” and not a man. Fuck you.)

(I never said I was a man.)

Am I just justifying? Is it all about me to me? No, no, there’s been times, when I’ve been totally selfless, with love. And I do shit for people sometimes, for friends if they ask. So no, I don’t only care about myself. Maybe I put myself first, yeah. And my feelings are so rampant that I guess I always do think about me. And being depressed, clinically, does make you very self-centered.

And being Jon Strong, of course.

I’m complaining, bitching. I thought I’d become such a better person. I was just experimenting with her. I’m a bad person? No. Inconsiderate. I think that’s more like it.

Last night we went to Walmart for DVD’s and I kept slapping her on the boob, which is taking advantage of her, but last night I genuinely had a good time with her. I don’t know why there always seems to be a person that turns up that I take advantage of, that I don’t consider their feelings. Or that I do, and just don’t care. Yes I am self-centered, and I don’t know how not to be.

it’s like trying to imagine eternity