Exclamation mark.

I’m so angry right now God! There’s dysfunction in me, and she’s not perfect, and our imperfections sometimes bounce off each other reminding me that we’re not perfect, and while I still want to be with her, I’m afraid that the fact that I’m not the “perfect person” for her will send her, not running, but slowly walking away. I know I’m not in control of that. I know I need alone time. I know I’m just angry ‘cause I just freak out when I’m not seeing her everyday. I take it as rejection. I don’t need her approval, but that part of me, the dying part, lives for it. At the first scent of it not being there it remembers how good it feels to live off of it, it remembers the high, the emotions!, the low when it’s not there. It’s remembers the low. It wants to get rid of the low. I need to forget the low, I need to accept the low, I need to close my eyes to see you. Your grace is sufficient for me. No drug will ever take it’s place, not for long at least, and not while I follow you wholeheartedly. Your grace is why I am here. Die, acceptance. Die, pleaser. Die impatience. Allow room for life to grow.