God, why can’t life be normal?

My god, my emotions today are worse than a hormonal pregnant woman! 1 minute i’m upset, the next i’m dancing around the room – part of me still feels drunk (I drunk sooooo much last night.. unbelievable!) and maybe thats y.

Last night was good. Me and Nikki took our straight mate 2 the gay bar and I’m so proud of him. He is like a proper brother 2 me and he was telling me last night how if nyone treats me like shit then they’ll have him 2 answer 4! So, Stu said last night that me going back to different blokes houses each week is stupid… even tho i do NOTHIN dirty at all, I just love the closeness and hugs and thats what I miss, so that put me down a lil and I wasn’t really up 4 being my usual crazy self. God I hate him sometimes. But the chat was good!

OOOOOOH! I went out with Scott on Friday… Yay! Must tell Hayley! He was a lil drunk when I met him but on his own so we went to the gay club which was empty… Just us 2! So we then moved 2 the gay bar that he knows. everyone in there was really nice and it was good 2 get ppl telling me how nice my eyes were – granted they were 40 but it was still nice! So we stayed there till 12 – he was a lil bit drunk and started an argument with this prick guy that is a proper loser. So i calmed him down outside and the bloke came outside! He was gettin mouthy so said if he didnt shut up, i’d kiss him then and there in the street – main road! He told me 2 go on and I did! It was soooooooooooo nice! Went back 2 his and had a really nice chat, both drunkards! He tried to get ‘intimate’ but I said no nd he said he respected me 4 saying no! Go me!! We then went to bed, hugged and fell asleep in each others arms! OMG he is sooooo nice! Im so determind now! We walked to the supermarket and then I left 2 go home but he was still so nice even after my hair was a mess nd my skin was shit! I txt him last night but he didnt reply – which he never does so i’ve a 1/2 day 2moro so gunna c him.

Ahhhh i have a massive smile just thinkin bout him now – but why can’t I have him? He’s been hurt by love b4 and I just wnt 2 let him know that I wont hurt him