work

Its so hard to work even from home, theres no help with the babies. I have to keep getting up to check them and I get into trouble because I can’t be away from my desk. He’s here but in the restroom, so hows that help me. Hes on his phone he already started with attitude this morning. Guarantee by 11 am this morning he will try to leave to go somewhere for some bs ass reason. Leave me with the kids, and working. I get up with them all hours of the night and I dont get to go to sleep until about 2 am because the baby wants to be up playing. Hes awake and doesnt work so in all sensibility it would make sense for him to take her into the living room play his stupid game talk to his little girlfriends on his phone and let our daughter play while he chills. NO that doesnt happen, and if you bring it up oh Lord if you bring it up smh. I am soooo tired of doing everything, cooking, cleaning, washing, folding, cutting the grass, paying the bills, taking care of all of the kids, giving teh babies their baths getting them ready for bed, just everything is on ME and me alone and it sucks! If i got sick and couldn’t pay bills how would he survive? If you want to be a stay at home dad thats fine but HELP. I work go to school and do everything above that is stated. I’m exhausted people. I could fall asleep in this chair if work would just shut up for a minute. I want to call out for the day because I feel like i have the flu or covid and i just want to sleep , but I can’t because our light is due next week. He had the audacity to tell me shit about the money I had saved up how he thought i had 5 k saved but i dont and that i have no assets to show for any of the money i recieved with income tax. I said first off i have had to take off many days for appts and because i had to take care of the kids so instead of getting into trouble i took the early out options. how do you think we have eaten or have electricity ive tapped into all that savings to pay bills. He said what a shame all that money and you have nothing to show for it. I sAID WHAT DO YOU HAVE? I have a house he said your house is a rental house. I said but what do you have? nothing so you have no room to judge me for anything i have or dont have! Shit pissed me off! I have invested into my 401 k and I am saving to BUY a home not that he knows, but I am. My kids have everything they want and need and i have a roof over my head and theirs whether or not its bought or rented. I also have a car i paid for CASH, and have fixed it to make it mobile for us to go where we need to go . I may not have it all together, but I am workign towards a bigger goal. That is why I got back into colleGE, i have plans. Idk how someone can make me feel so low and down about msyelf! I have been thinking about that comment since Tuesday!! TUESDAY! like what do i have to show for my life?! He thinks im trying to argue when I just tell him something he gets all loud. this morning i knocked on teh bathroom to ask him if he had the keys to the car he said no i looked around couldnt find them so i said r they in the restroom he got all pissed off starts being loud giving attitude WOKE UP THE babies and i aid stop with the attitude he said why do you…i dont have an attitude but if its coming off that way MAYBE ITS BECAUSE im sleep deprived, I have to get up early for work to get the kids ready for school, the babies changed the bottles and food set up the tablets set up the tv set up so i can come and work quietly. I k now im going to have to leave work early again my daughets been crying and nobody’s gone to fix the tablet…I’m annoyed i gotta go back to work, My sadness it turning into anger….and i don’t like this feeling. have a good day everyone pray for me ill pray for you!