sad

Sadness is all I feel…Empty when everyone is around

The joy from my eyes is now gone.

Nothing I do will ever be good enough, No matter what i do or say He will always blame me.

I tried to say how I feel and he flips it around for me to feel like I’m the bad guy.

My head hurts, I’m physically, emotionally, and mentally so tired sometimes I want to go to sleep and that be it.

The thing that keeps me going is my children .

Im so tired of being the bad guy, the person whos fighting to hold on my hands are bleeding trying to keep something that wants another life.

I dont understand anything in this home anymore.

1 step forward and 3 steps back…do you love me want me hate me boy i dont understand.

He makes me so mad I start shaking and have to go hide in the restroom to breathe it out. He has no respect for me at all. He says hes going to do a tattoo tomorrow on a “homeboy” but can’t tell me what city he is going to. Isn’t common courtesy if you are going to use someones vehicle you tell them where you are going? or am i trying to take away his freedome like he says? He says hes grown and doesnt have to tell me where he is going. I have so much to say to that but I bite my tongue. He thinks I dont know he went through my phone i find it funny he can go through mine, but i’m not allowed to go through his. I dont want to though he has left it near me I know the code, I choose not to hurt my own feelings. SOMEONE TALK TO ME because I’m losing my shit right now.