why am I at work today?

I am at the workplace that retrenched me two weeks ago. It is very difficult to be here. There is so much going on in my life. I have not been sleeping well. I am very tired and emotional. Every little thing is a trigger, if I am asked something it is hard to think of an answer. I would rather not have an emotional outburst in the workplace. My limits are being tested. I have a doctor’s certificate and plenty of sick leave. My capacity for work is diminished. So why am I at work?

I have an app I have been working on for months on and off that is very near submission to the stores and I would like to see it through to completion.

The app might aid me in my goal to get a new job.

I would like to leave the old work place with a good relationship with my manager.

I have been offered contract work here should that arise in the future.

I thought at several points that if I am going to be sad there wasn’t any need to be at home to do that, I could stick to the work routine.

I don’t think it is out of any misplaced loyalty or sense of duty.

I do though have to look after myself. I am taking one day at a time. If I leave now without collapsing in a heap I can try again to attend work after a couple of night’s sleep. I have a job interview tomorrow so I would like to be fresh for that so I can look positively to the future.

Time is ticking on as I contemplate my options. On the whole I think I will leave early today, that would be best.