semi meltdown

On Saturday Claudia had another meltdown over our lack of plans and my lack of enthusiasm for renovating. She said we must always have a new plan or the relationship would suffer. She said I was lazy, which is true. She said unless I worked it out that we should consult a marriage counsellor. I am happy to do that so that at times like these I can get the point across that I don’t need to be told that I have a mental illness. As far as I am concerned my medication has made me symptom free, the laziness is just … me. I am lazy and I probably should do something about it but it is not an effect of bipolar. I really don’t need the constant reminders, it is unhelpful and feels like controlling manipulation.

I saw my psychologist last Thursday for the first time this year, just to keep her in the loop and up to date. I raised Claudia’s perception of me looking inappropriately on boxing day. Joanne reminded me that the medication makes people on it stare and that I should reinstate the two second rule. She also said that if we are still talking about boxing day in August as an issue then Claudia’s reaction needs looking at too and that we could do with some marriage counselling.

I also saw my optometrist on Thursday and he said to keep a diary of how blurry the vision in my eye is. This has been going on all year so another few weeks of diary keeping won’t hurt.

I should be keeping a diary of what I am told needs counselling! Claudia said boxing day wasn’t an issue I should have raised, I should have talked about drinking and my attitude to money. Other problems too come up in the heat of the moment but I get too overwrought to remember them all.

On Sunday I got Richard over and we talked about renovations. He reckons we could get it done for $50K but that was only a guess.

The paintings are nearing completion for the show in September. I made a video portfolio and put it on youtube. Etsy on the other hand doesn’t show my stuff when you search for my name. I will have to look into what tags I am using.