i just haven’t written in a while

I can hardly believe it sometimes. How quickly these difficult, amazing years run past us in a finger-smeared blur of colors and faces.

But every once in a while, i think it’s in my nature, to stop and smell the starbucks, the rain, his cologne, my best friend’s vanilla air freshener, maybe a rose, if my sister’s boyfriend has bought her a dozen yet this week.

And spring has always brought me so much ‘new.’  This year hasn’t let me down.  Sometimes it’s overwhelming.  Sometimes it’s exciting.  Sometimes it’s overwhelming. Sometimes it’s exciting. But it always happens.

It’s funny how God’s use of timing always just seems ironic to me.  Make my life feel perfect and right, then flip it upside down.  I’m not afraid.  (Okay, i’m terrified) But it’s going to be okay; I know this. If my family’s moving has done one good thing for me, it’s that i know i can do things myself.

Have you found that at the end of every year, you feel like a completely different person? Maybe it’s just me.

I have to find away to go against my nature and relax myself well enough to not mess things up. I know what i want. For once, my indecisive, fickle little brain is pretty sure about that.  My stomach is tied in a decorative bow.  Beautifully twisted and anxious. But, strangely, I work well only under pressure. So Summer: Bring. It. On.