desperadita

it’s like crawling between the sheets

where his body lay the night before

grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt

don’t know what I was hoping for

i’m so afraid of missing you

as deeply as I’ve been

And I know it can never be

the way it was again

and it’s hard to know my eyes are closed

even when I’m awake

and it’s hard to know that what I do

puts so much at stake

you’re the beat that my heart skipped

you’re the thought that my mind slipped

all on purpose for my own protection

all on purpose from lack of affection

but accidental ’cause I can’t help it

accidental ’cause I cant stop it

help me

tell me

without yelling

that there’s

something

to be

-lieve in

i know

you’re just

what I

need and

I must

stop you

you from

leavin

take my

words please

listen

baby

this is

a yes

not a

maybe

i am

screaming

without

speaking

my heart

has holes

here’s it’s

leaking:

don’t know

what i’m

thinking

yet

but you’re the best i’ve ever met…

 

 

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November 24, 2004

ooh jessie i love you. and i’m going to miss you while you’re away!

November 24, 2004

How absolutely gorgeous, my dear. You are so unbelievebly talented. I love you.

November 24, 2004

this is very heartfelt. whoever he is, i hope he reads this.

November 25, 2004

i wish i could spill this SAME thing ((to someone)) without him turning away..my biggest fear in life is rejection. i miss you so much. everytime i meet someone from upj i always ask if they know you. and sadly i forget, its not highschool anymore, no one knows everyone. love-

Everything is ok. I will try not to scare you anymore. Thanks for the entry. I love you and I know you love me to. BRI