10/19/04

My minus six year clone can still look at me and put me in my place. Her big dark brown eyes can still see through mine, accusing…you’re not what you’re pretending.

I wouldn’t make it in college as that girl. All my life I was able to focus on everyone else, because I was covered and taken care of. You can’t help but harden when you know, deep down, you’re all you’ve got for miles and miles.

It’s a curse to be able to see through people, because one by one they only make you sick. So I’ve adjusted. You think it doesnt hurt to see the woman who raised you look at you with an expression that whispers oh you’ve changed, and not for the better. You’re not what you’re pretending.

Well I can see right through me, too. And when I’m rushing to sweep on black mascara in these cold, hazey, mountain-top mornings, my own eyes whisper the exact. same. thing.

I’m stuck within this girl, and I hate her, for making me this.

.Blatantly Trite.

October 19, 2004

This entry gave me chills. I could never imagine you being a person that is unlikeable, let alone hate-able. But life would be really hard if you were always your nice, kind self. You eventually have to put yourself before others. That’s not such a bad thing, love. It’s adjusting. Our surrondings have changed, and I think we are supposed to change with them. I have too. We all have. I love u

waltzing/back

jess…my friend comes up to upj all the time, and one of these times im going to come up with her to see you and steph..la roche isnt the most funplace in the world and definately isnt my match. but i hope that you two are doing well and actually enjoying your college expierence. love love love emily

Sweet Passion

don’t get down on yourself, i hate to see you down =( it makes me sad. don’t worry dear, you know i’m here for you and I LOVE YOU!

wicked2lip

ohh jess, i miss you so. and if you have changed for the worst…maybe you truly have to be bad in order for you to be fully good. i know where your coming from all to well, i love u oh so much. i hope all turns out for the best ~Kel Pel PS~ everything happens for a reason.