you know you’re from pennsylvania

You Know You’re From Pennsylvania When….

You’ve never referred to Philadelphia as anything but “Philly.” And New Jersey has always been “Jersey.”

You refer to Pennsylvania as “PA.”

“You guys” is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men & women.

You know how to respond to the question “Djeetyet?” (Didyoueatyet?)

You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, Bala Cynwyd, Duquesne, New Tripoli, Tunkhannock, Punxsutawney, Tamaqua, Susquehanna, Allegheny, and Monongahela.

You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Virginville, Paradise, Mars, and Slippery Rock are all PA towns. (yup and i once saw a bumper sticker that says “Intercourse is just this side of Paradise” and it took me a minute to get the sexual reference)

You know what a “Mummer” is, and are disappointed if you can’t catch at least highlights of the parade.

The first day of buck and the first day of doe season are school holidays.

You can use the phrase “fire hall wedding reception” and not even bat an eye.

You can’t go to a wedding without hearing the “Chicken Dance,” at least one Polka and either an Italian song (sung in Italian,) or “Hava Nagila.” (what kind of wedding would it be without ‘i dont wanna be a chicken, i dont wanna be a duck, so kiss my butt’ ?)

At least 5 people on your block have electric “candles” in all or most of their windows all year long. (*raises hand* guilty as charged)

You know what a “State Store” is, and your out of state friends find it incredulous that you can’t purchase liquor at the mini-mart. (what? why on earth would a mini-mart sell liquor?)

You own only three condiments “A-1, Heinz 57 and Heinz ketchup”. (well yea, and gulden’s mustard… and hellman’s mayo… so that makes five)

Words like “hoagie”, “crick”, “chipped ham”, “sticky buns”, “shoo-fly pie”, “pierogies” and “pocketbook” actually mean something to you.

You can eat cold pizza (even for breakfast) and know others who do the same. (its the only way to go! 😛 lol)

You know several places to purchase or that serve Scrapple, Summer Sausage (Lebanon Bologna), and Hot Bacon Dressing. (my parents have a friend with his own smokehouse that makes these… but you can get ’em at the grocery store too)

One of the highlights of your life was a field trip to Penn’s Cave and Horseshoe curve. (maybe non penn’s cave for me, but definitely crystal cave *and* lost river caverns)

You know exactly what to do when your mother tells you to “red up” your room.

You know the time and location of every “wing night” in a 20 mile radius. (yup… and don’t forget pork and saurkraut church dinners!)

You don’t think people from Philly or Pittsburgh talk funny. (well they dont :-P)

You don’t understand all the hype about Rolling Rock beer; You’ve been drinking it for years even though Iron City is better.

You consider an exotic vacation to be a trip to Ocean City, Virginia Beach, or Myrtle Beach. (you wanna get *really* exotic, then go to Rehoboth Beach :-P)

You think very little of an Amish buggy on the road.

You learned long ago how to “step carefully” around the buggy tie-ups in the supermarket parking lot.

You can go 2 weeks in winter without sunshine and think this is normal.

There is no such thing as a “Philly Cheesesteak”. It’s just a goddamn cheesesteak.

You know that Eucre is a card game and not a form of vomiting.

You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know that it comes in several colors: Red, Blue, White, Brown, Gold. (yea, and you have a recipe for homemade birch beer that you got at a folk festival :-P)

You know what REAL potpie is.

You ask the waitress for “dippy eggs” for breakfast.

Your turkey has “filling,” not “stuffing,” and most certainly, NOT “dressing.”

You consider Pittsburgh to be “out west,” and you know the fastest way to Philly is the Turnpike.

When it snows, they put cinders on the roads instead of sand. (yup and its a bitch to get off your car too)

Know that Yuengling is pronounced “Ying-ling,” and believe that it really is a premium beer (what? you mean it isnt?)

You know that a green pepper is not a pepper at all but a “mango”.

You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk when you hear the word “snow.” (well i dont, but as a grocery store cashier, i know that all 6000 people within a 3 mile radius certainly do)

You live within two miles of a plant that makes potato chips, corn chips, pretzels, candy, or ice cream, or that packages turkeys, beans, or bologna. (at my old house, Mrs T’s and Blommer’s were *literally* in my backyard)

You can stop along the road to buy fruits, vegetables, or crafts on the “honor system.” (and around christmas time, you can do it with christmas trees too!)

You know that chicken corn soup from a fire house is the most nearly perfect food on earth.

You say things like, “Outen the lights,” “I’m calling off today,” and “They’re calling for snow.”

You’ve heard of distelfinks and hex signs. (and more importantly, you know what they are, and in elemetary school, you were forced to draw hex signs with distelfinks on them)

You only buy your beer and soda by the case. (well it gets drunk so fast it’d be a waste to buy it any other way!)

You think the roads in any other state are smooth.

You know the Penn State cheer, and although you’ve never attended Penn State, you are a most obnoxious Penn State fan.

Hearing horses clopping down a paved street doesn’t bring you to the window to see what’s going on outside.

You never see any Confederate Flags, except on the Gettysburg Battlefield. (well i live in a hick town, so there’s one or two license plate flags)

You prefer Hershey’s Chocolate to Godiva. (anybody else think that this is a bit of a stretch?)

School closings due to snow take the radio stations a half an hour to finish, because just about every town has its own school district. (half an hour? thats fast… more like 45min-an hour)

You have the Rolling Rock bottle memorized: “From the glass lined tanks of Old Latrobe, we tender this premium beer for your enjoyment. . . . ”

You elect pro-life Democrats and pro-choice Republicans for Governor (we like to make everyone happy and pissed off simultaneously *grins*)

You frequently go “with,” e.g., “You going to the market? Mind if I come with?”

You refer to something as “a whole nother,” e.g., “That’s a whole nother issue.” (yup, i use both phrases without batting an eye… my father also frequently says “upair” as in “is it upair?”=”is it up there”… and he’s not the only one)

You REALLY HATE antiquers. On Sunday mornings you would scream “Go back to Jersey!” at least once on the way to church.

When you were a kid and somebody really pissed you off, you said, “I’m gonna deck you!” (well what else would you do to them? decking sounds reasonable, no?)

You know the expression, “Hey naw! Watchya dewin’?”

You know where to buy “Opera Fudge” and that it has absolutely no connection to the Opera.

The only Jewish people that you’ve ever met have been from New York or New Jersey. (i