valentine’s day

ok, so like i know that now valentine’s day was technically yesterday b/c it’s been today for like almost two hours… but today has just as much bad feelings for me as yesterday did, because of the date

see, on 2/15/04, ryan and i had our first date… and everything went from there *sigh*… which means that today would have been our one year anniversary if we were still together… i still have very mixed feelings about the whole situation. like a part of me knows that the distance and lack of communication was killing us anyway, but another part of me still doesn’t see why we can’t be together
>me: happy valentine’s day, btw
>him: same to you
>him: i still have bittersweet feelings about today
>me: yea same here
>me: this weekend would be our one year anniversary if we were still together…
>him: yea, i know
>me: i would be lying if i said i was over you
>him: as would i–but i really don’t see how it could have worked
how about here’s a hint: if we’d actually called each other, emailed each other, wrote each other–you know, like communication?
i think i’m past the point where i was totally blaming him… i mean, some of it could have been my fault too–communication does have to go both ways… but why can’t i get him out of my head??

i still need closure
>DaFishey: what do you need, for him to hate you?
>me: yes
>me: no
>me: i dunno
>DaFishey: makes sense
>me: it would probably be easier if he hated me
>me: but knowing that we both still have feelings for each other makes me still hold out hope…

ok, nuffa that

so what else has happened on this lovely *cough*cough* valentine’s day?
it rained–yuk
i tried to donate blood, but my hemocrit levels were too low–being a girl sux sometimes
my computer spazzed on me and wouldnt let me into any aim chat rooms (yes, that was a crisis)
ummm… ya thats pretty much it *yawn* ok i’m boring, i know… why the hell do you think it takes me so long between updates?