real surreality

Randy’s mom and Jimmy (for ease of communication, Randy’s stepdad… but they’re not married) invited me to the beach with them tomorrow. I initially said no, because I knew that Randy had to work overnight tonight (midnight to 8am) and again tomorrow from 4pm to midnight. She said, “Oh no, we can leave him at home to sleep.”

I must admit, I’m still not entirely comfortable with spending time with Randy’s parents without him. It’s not that I don’t like them–I do–it’s just that I always feel so self-conscious around them–particularly his mother.

Not to mention, spending time with them somehow makes US (Randy and I) seem more real. If we don’t need Randy there, as an excuse almost, to be in the same place at the same time… to be the connection between us, then it means that they must be accepting me as a “part of the family.” And at the same time it also feels surreal. Kind of like my dad and Randy drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, and discussing politics and cars.

Project 365