pounding head…

ugh… i’m soooo hungover… i don’t even know how much i had to drink last night… that is the *last* time i let kate’s sister mix my drinks, lol… in fact, it’s the last time i’m goin drinking for a while–a *long* while… i don’t recall how i got home… the last thing i remember clearly is some lady coming out on her porch and yelling at us for being too loud.. actually, i don’t even remember that *clearly*… then the next thing i remember is vomiting in my toilet.. i dunno how i got here, i’m guessing kate and nina helped me…
but anyway, i’m sure i would have been fine, had i not been so upset… see last night (while i was drunk) i told dave that i liked him… i might have tried to make out with him too, im not sure… so then he’s like, ‘jen lets go outside’ … *thats* probably the last thing i remember clearly… we went outside and were walking around a bit, and he told me he was gay, but he hadn’t come ‘out’ yet… i totally lost it, i went ballistic, and i was completely hysterically crying, and yelling awful things at him, which i hate myself for b/c i should have been being supportive of him… had i been sober when all of this occured, i *would* have been supportive and like ‘its ok dave, its not ur fault’ blahblah– this isn’t the first time that i started to like a guy only to find out that he was gay after the fact… but i acted completely irrationally … i probably hit him a few times… i really don’t remember… then somebody called my phone.. and then nina and kate came… and then dave disappeared… and then the lady yelled at us… and then somehow i got home… its not a good feeling–not remembering stuff–its like a part of your life was stolen away from you.. i swear i’m *never* getting that shitfaced again… i hope dave can forgive me for the way i acted…

peace,
~jen