post-dramatic reflection

Last entry is now on private… a few friends brought up some good points… one that I use all these guys to cover up what I’m really feeling–which is alone. (I don’t think that’s necessarily true, at least not entirely, but it is an interesting point). Another that it’s not that I feel *nothing* its just that I’m not used to taking a relationship slow; not used to not having a bunch of feelings bombarding and overwhelming me because of rushing into something. Because rushing is just that… its a rush, it’s a high… I’m addicted to that flurry of feelings you get at the beginning of a new relationship. When you rush it, keep pushing it, it never really goes away. So maybe its not entirely true that I feel nothing. Its just that I’m so used to feeling so much all at once, that ‘just a little’ feels like nothing.

In any case, if I’m being totally honest, there are other issues here. Issues that have nothing to do with boys or relationships… But I don’t feel like talking about them right now, despite the fact that I recognize they’re there. So this is what you get.

Support Our Troops

Interesting notes on the events in your life in your last entry. Since I didn’t see the entry you made private, I’ll just comment on what you’ve mentioned. Though I know I don’t need to remind you, since its been a long time since we’ve been anywhere resembling close, don’t read into my thoughts much. I think there is a part of not being willing to rely on anyone else. Also, I think you…Rob

…are uncomfortable with letting people close to you. Your looking for something, but don’t know what it is, or are unwilling or afraid to look for it. I also feel as if there is something you need to accept. Well, that’s my two cents. Robert