November 5, 2006

[NoJoMo] 6: ennui

Today’s NoJoMo Word: … I have the paper with all my words written down on it at home. Unfortunately I’m at work. So let’s pick some random word to be today’s word, shall we? *smiles* Just to puzzle you even more, Today’s NoJoMo Word is puzzle

Today’s NoJoMo word has been brought to you by the letter Z and the number 64. Why sixty-four? Because today is the 6th day of NoJoMo, and I have used the word “puzzle” in 4 of the 633 entries that were included in my original search.

If you’re confused as to what NoJoMo is, click the icon above. If you’re confused as to why I have a NoJoMo Word, please read [Nojomo]1: a loss for words

I’m getting restless again. I don’t ever remember being this way when I was younger, but now I am restless. Staying in one place for too long makes me jittery; anxious. I can feel deep down that this is not what I’m meant to be doing. I can’t stay here. I can’t keep trying to do this–it’s just going to drive me insane if I do.

How is it that some people can know their entire lives, from childhood onwards, what it is they want to do with the rest of their lives, when I, at 20 years old, am doing something that I never even ever fathomed that I’d be interested in. I do still feel that business is the right course for me on some level, but I don’t think I can do it here.

I talked to my mother about this last night, and she said to me, “You’re already 3 years in, just finish this, graduate with a degree in economics and then you can do whatever you want.” Which of course, is what I’ve been trying to convince myself of for the past several weeks. But in reality, the truth is I’m not three years in. And I know I have no one to blame but myself, but between the semester I took off and my poor grades in the semesters I’ve actually been here, I’m a sophomore in standing, and probably still will be after this semester.

I. Just. Can’t. Do. It. Anymore.

I found my mood to be perfectly realized in words when one of my faves mentioned ennui last week. That’s it. I’m in a state of ennui. It is so thoroughly penetrating that I find myself wanting to just… go to sleep and never have to wake up again. And I know I could do it… and I’m afraid that if I stay here for too long, I just might.

Hey, if school is not for you then it’s not for you. Don’t feel bad about it.

Thanks for sharing the Today’s NoJoMo Word. I don’t really get it, but that is ok. Your diary entries are a bit easier for me to read. Did you change the font? Sorry that I don’t know what to say to you in notes about your entries. I hope that doesn’t bother you.

I know a register at a store can be checked to make sure what is in there is what should be in there, but I didn’t know a store would do it while the store is open for customers. It is nice the store did what they did for me. It’s ok about what my bf said about he wished my mom would come and get me. He tells me this often when somethinig is not going right for him. Glad it doesn’t bothe

I am glad you thought the teddy bear is cute. I shared that entry on OD boards so if you want to comment there as well you can.

i don’t know how you can’t know what you want to do yet…i guess you just don’t…but, if you’re one of those people who does, you just do…trust me…and read my diary for (semi) related entries…yes, i finally updated…twice…i need sleep…now.

That is good to know that some groccery stores sell fresh turkeys as well as frozen. I wonder why turkeys are frozen, but you can buy chicken in packages that are not frozen

I guess you are right that people buy turkeys weeks in advance to when they want to cook it. The only thing is couldn’t the person freeze the turkey if they know it wont be cooked in a week. Unless a lot of ppl don’t have a lot of room in their freezer to put a 15 to 20 pound turkey in it.

I want to chnage my degree too but i really don’t know what I want to do with my life. I wanted to take art but I have no clue how I will work on getting there. It takes 6 buses to get there. drives me insane!!!!

I am Jack's Soul

November 26, 2006

I’ve actually tried that before. Interestingly enough . . . sleeping for 20 hours makes you tired.