my cup runneth over

I put on my bra this morning, and promptly fell out of it.

I’ve been wearing too-small bras for as long as i can remember, because i usually neglect to get myself measured until *after* i’ve bought a whole slew of new bras. But finally this morning I was fed up. I’m sick of having to readjust myself 50000000000000 times a day… and this time I know I’m definitely 34DDD, because that was my last measurement, and the size of my swimsuit top (which still fits me properly).

So, still falling out of my bra, I went online to order a few new ones (since No store on the face of the earth carries my size). Ugh. I spent $100 on two bras. TWO I am so thoroughly disgusted. I could get 8 or 9 more wrong-sized bras at wal-mart for that price. Or even at least 4 from Victoria’s Secret or Lane Bryant. It is so incredibly unfair that not only do i have to special-order my bras, but i have to pay about 3 times more what any sane person would pay for such a thing.

And honestly, i love my boobs, really I do… I just wish it were easier (and cheaper) to find “support” for them. Heh. anyways, moving right along…

random bit of advice: it’s probably not a good idea to get yourself involved in a partner project with a freshman lacrosse player.

I was feeling really… i dunno… kind of depressed this morning, and i took a look over my journal to see if this was a pattern for the month of october. It kind of is, except last october I was dealing with Jim crap, and the October previously I was dealing with Ryan crap. So it’s more of a boy pattern than a seasonal pattern, I think. There is kind of boy “crap” going on right now but… I don’t really want to talk about any of it, because I’m pretty sure a lot of it’s in my head. So instead I’ll just stew about it, maybe write a private entry or a kindof cryptic poem that I claim is about nobody specific, but really is; and I’ll just cuddle up with my teddy bear and my body pillow when I wish I was cuddling with someone else, and shiver when the chill autumn wind blows in through my cracked bedroom window, and hug everything tighter, and close my eyes, and dream of a happily-ever-after.