it appears to be a pattern…

RYN: (For the moment, I’ll skip my normal response to your comment, “it makes me feel.”) I’m sorry you choose to see it as “harping.” I see at as commenting to women who believe they’re losing something as they age. Most of us, when we’re young and/or beautiful, think that’s pretty cool. We’re happy to not concern ourselves with the things our parents might be. It’s when the years come …

2 – and beauty “declines” that we face some of life’s most significant hurdles. Because I live my own version of that, it is what I frequently write about. Don’t take my writing as a detraction to youth but instead, maybe use it to prepare for your own, similar thoughts that might come. I write to my level of thought and observation of the world. If you don’t share the same thoughts, …

3 – that’s ok. It doesn’t mean I’m finding fault with youth or beauty. It’s just that those concepts have little value to me and therefore, do little to stir creative thoughts. I see them as stages of life we must go through to become truly developed. There might be other of my entries that might appeal to you. Entries like, who is responsible for what you feel? …

4 – http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D116647&entry=10058&mode=date Thanks for your thoughts and for reading me.

BINGO! You got it! Congratulations! In fact, you understood it so fast that I’m guessing this is not the first time you’ve heard this concept. Is it? We, almost always externalize the responsibility for how we feel, using the catch all phrase, “YOU made me feel “x” when YOU did/said that.” I know it REALLY seems as though something or someone is “doing” something to us to “make” us feel …

2 – a certain way, but they’re not! They do/say whatever, and WE give the meaning to it. The meaning comes from a PRE-EXISTING set of experiences/beliefs that go back to our childhood’s formative years. Since we cannot control others, and they will NEVER (continuously) do what we want to “make US feel” better, we are destined for a life of pain and disappointment. How could we NOT be? …

3 – We constantly look for someone to behave a certain way to “make us feel” a certain way. When we find them, we frequently call it love … and when (not if) they subsequently fail us, we call it divorce. It’s foolish how we ACTUALLY think someone outside us somehow controls our happiness. The value in believing ONLY YOU control what you feel has the effect of removing much of life’s pain. …

4 – If we finally understand that we give ALL the meaning to what is said or done to us, that, in effect, WE are CHOOSING how to feel about certain actions or words, then it opens up the possibility that we can STOP choosing those feelings! Once we accept that we control how we’re feeling, we can ask ourselves, “Why should I continue to CHOOSE painful feelings.” …

5 – I didn’t adopt this belief until well into adulthood, where I had plenty of experiences to prove the world wasn’t behaving the way I wanted it to, to make me feel better. I offer you, the sooner you can transition to this concept, the easier and less heartbreaking life will be. God bless,

So, to bring it full circle … there is something to be said for being young. It is a time when we can start asking the big questions of life. Questions like, “Who controls my thinking, my feelings.” Having a question(s) is all that is necessary to experience major personal development. Congratulations on your willingness to explore.

mmk then rWar. sorry i couldnt be of much help