indecision

people tease me for being indecisive… well the reason i’m indecisive is because i think too much, and i overanalyze things… and if/when i, for once, don’t think about something, and do it completly randomly with little thought or forsight, everything goes terribly wrong and blows up in my face… ok, so i know i probably shouldn’t have posted that conversation between me and alex… but i didn’t think about it beforehand, it was only after the fact that i realized that it was probably a mistake, and i didn’t get the opportunity to remove said entry before others read it… as a result, people are mad at each other and its my fault.

now, it might also be said that this one event isn’t really something to be compared to a decision regarding a certain relationship between ryan and myself. but its things like this… things getting all screwed up and wrong because of a single bad decision made in a moment of haste and unthinking… that make me even more wary of making any finite decisions… and the worst part (which is occasionally also the best part, but thats for another time) ryan is almost *exactly* like me… indecision and all… so its not like i can even rely on him to make a decision either… i think whats going to end up happening, is we’ll just keep dating, mutually exclusively, and eventually other people will get sick of asking us if we’re a “thing” and getting blank stares and shrugs as  a response… and then we won’t have to worry about it… and as for time and date, since ren’s so worried about it… we can just say that it was our first date, so there…

anyway… at the moment i cant decide whether or not to go to bed… so, whatever

peace,
~Jen