home again
well i suppose i ought to update this, as its been a week since my last entry… but what to write? I’m currenty visiting home, as many of you know, and i am learning very quickly that some things never change, and some things do… and its almost always that the things you wish would change, don’t; and the things you wish wouldn’t change, do.. On that note, i’d like to briefly discuss a book i read recently: “Who Moved my Cheese?: A Guide to Dealing with Change in your Work and in your Life” in the book there are two mice and two “Littlepeople” (creatures the size of mice that resemble human beings) anyway, the mice are named sniff and scurry, and the littlepeople are named hem and haw… the basic premise is that they’re looking for cheese in a maze, and then they find cheese, and then they eat it all, and wonder who moved the cheese… even just thier names connotate what their personalities are like, so i’m not going to explain further, first of all because the book is so simplistic that a “summary” would likely end up more as a paraphrasing.. the general gist of the book is though, that you have to be aware that change is coming and almost embrace the change… of course, this isn’t to say that all change is good, but if you ignore the changes going on around you then you’ll probably starve while waiting for “them” to change it back to the way it was… i hope this is making sense :- but despite the fact that i know things are changing, i still just don’t want to accept it… *sigh* and this brings me to another subject… i still don’t know what i’m gonna do about ryan :- i saw him last night, and it was the same as its always been– nothing feels different–and on monday i’m supposed to be spending a lil more time with him and giving him my present for him… i just don’t know what i’m gonna do!! i love him to death– more than i’ve ever loved anyone before… i feel like he could be “the one” and i’m just so afraid that i’m gonna f*** it up, because thats what i always do. Everytime something good comes into my life i have to go and f*** it up… but see another thing is that i’m meeting so many amazing people at college, and i keep thinking, well what if ryan *isn’t* the one, and while i’m still trying to figure out whats going on between us, i miss out on some other potential relationship? and then i think well i’m too young to be thinking about s**t like this, and i should be having fun… but should i have fun by dating around, or should i have fun with the guy i’m already with? *sigh*
peace,
~jen