hodgepodge ~incl. SB recap~

The only person I ever truly loved, was the hardest to say it to… and the only one who never said it back…

It’s been almost three weeks since my “Jim detox” began. I think Carlin’s the only one I told, but a couple weeks ago, I decided that I needed to take action to force myself to get over him, or it’d be a long time before I’d be able to have a healthy relationship. I wrote down all the reasons why it was obvious that it wasn’t working, and I should stop dwelling and holding out hope for something that could happen after he graduated, or even after he came back from overseas (remember he’s in the army… its very very very likely–ie almost certain–he’s getting deployed this summer). But yea, because I was still holding out hope for that, I wasn’t really letting myself get close to anybody else, blahblah.. its a fun story, really, ask me about it sometime, maybe I’ll tell you. ANYWAY. after writing all that down, and then reading it, I decided that the first thing I’d do would be delete him from my contacts list. I did, felt better, and went to bed. Less than a half hour after I did this (although I didn’t discover it til morning) he messaged me basically telling me the same thing that I’d just told myself. Beautiful. We were thinking the same thing at the same time. It was just enough for me to have a fleeting thought of ‘well that’s part of exactly why I thought he was so perfect for me to begin with.’ We talked for just a few more minutes, after which I deleted him again (anyone I talk to gets automatically added by default) So right now, I’m not sure where I stand on that situation… I’m pretty sure that its too soon to start talking to him again, even though we agreed that we could eventually at some point be friends. Last week or the week before at some point I went through the “omg I hate him so much, how could he do this to me??” phase… before that it was almost constant just crying… Now… well now I’m not sure. But anyway, that’s enough of that.

In other news. Remember that really freaky IM I got a few weeks ago? Well I got an IM yesterday from another girl who’d been harassed by ‘sacreaonel.’ When she did a google search on the screenname, my xanga site came up as the #1 result. We discovered that the only common link was that we both knew this guy Nick. He’s the “friend” that I originally suspected of doing it. After I accused him, he got all angry and defensive, and I blocked him, and haven’t talked to him since, even though all I had were my very strong suspicions to go on. Now I feel like I have more validation, and I feel a lot better about the whole thing. I also feel better that, even though I know he may be a little… disturbed… my family and friends aren’t in any real danger, despite his threats. Sad part is that even though she accused him directly, just like I did, he’s sticking by his story that ‘maybe somebody hacked me.’ *rolls my eyes*

Spring Break!! The Fall Out Boy concert last Saturday was absolutely AMAZING!!! I am totally addicted to this band now. Most of you that have known me for awhile know how often it is that I pick a song or musical group and claim them as my “favorite” (i.e. NEVER)… Fall Out Boy is now officially my favorite band. I love love love love love them. Their lyrics are awesome, the tunes are catchy, and they’re just all around amazing performers. The only thing I kind of regret is that my sisters were getting really tired and cranky towards the end of the concert, so we left early. The last three songs they did were ones that they had written specifically for this tour (never heard before anywhere else), but I didn’t get to hear them, because of leaving early. But they’re coming to Columbia, MD in May, so I may go see them again with a couple of my friends who didn’t get to see them when they were in their towns.

Sunday, the fam and I went to the Franklin Institute to see the Body Worlds exhibit. In a word…. breathtaking… It was just so completely awesome. If you have a chance, when/if it comes to a city near you… go see it. Just totally… wow. Then again, I’m a bit of a science geek, as much as I sometimes try to hide it 😛 My two favorite parts of the exhibit, were (1) the entire room devoted to birth and development of fetuses in the womb, and (2) the latitudinal cross-section of an obese person… next to that of a slim person. It showed how fat actually accumulates on and inbetween organs, and isn’t just a layer under the skin. It was… gross… but in a cool way. Coolly disgusting. Oh, I also liked the people/animals that were just blood vessels… they injected a plastic substance into the veins, and when it hardened, they used enzymes to remove all of the organic matter. So it showed very well exactly where concentrations of blood vessels were in the human body. Totally awesome.

Monday I did nothing, but Tuesday I went to hang out with JM at Ursinus, where I recieved the “bathroom tour” lol. She showed me all two ‘science buildings.’ And I thought Ursinus was kind of a science school? I told her we had two buildings just for the chemistry department, and she pouted. I was mildly amused. Later that day, I went to see V for Vendetta with two friends that I haven’t seen or talked to in a reallllyy long time. The movie was really good. No comment on the rest of the evening. I didn’t get in until 5am, but not really by choice. Although it was kind of fun hitting up all three of the 24 hour places in town at a time of night when nothing else was open.

Wednesday I almost got kidnapped… Justin wanted to drive up here and take me back, because he just missed me that much… but I talked him out of it. Wednesday evening, I went to see Brokeback Mountain with JM… another good