here again?

as i sit here in my dormroom, boxes strewn around me i cant help but think, ‘didn’t i *just* unpack all this shit?’ and ‘when did i get so much stuff??’

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yes, we’ve reached the end of another school year, and with it comes more bittersweet feelings… i’ve missed home and my friends back home all year long and i’m really looking forward to seeing them again, but at the same time, my social network has been extended… no i did not sequester myself in my room all year long, though i well could have and it wouldnt have been difficult to do so…

but i have friends here now too–friends that are going back to their homes over the summer, as i go to mine–and we all go back to our old traditions and our old places and our old inside jokes, (tomato farm!!) things that only the friends we grew up with could possibly know about… but we’ve also made new traditions, new inside jokes, new places, with new friends… we’ve changed this year, even as we’ve stayed the same… as happy as i am going to be to see my “penguins”, i’ve suddenly realized that ‘the integral of your mom’ is an insult that only “ronaldo” would fully appreciate… and who could say ‘your face’ with such disdain? only kate… and only my lovely roommate can say so cheerfully that she’s an utter failure at life…

and even though our old friends have bonds with us that run so deeply, there’s no getting around the fact that for the next three years, we’ll see these new friends more often than our old ones–hell we’re living together! which is more than can be said for our old friends… so even though our new friends will be missed while we’re home for the summer, its only 3.5 months! and then we’ll see each other again all year long! so its not quite the bitter feeling that i had at the end of last year… still bitter, but not as much

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but on another note, and speaking of bitter sweet feelings–by now most of you know that i’m dating a new guy.. his name is jim, and he is absolutely perfect for me… the way i feel with him is….. indescribable…. it sounds so corny, and i usually hate it when people say this, but i feel like he *completes* me… being in his arms is just so perfect, it just feels so right … its been a long time since i’ve felt this way, although i hesitate to say that i’m in love, just because i dont want to get too involved… i know you’re supposed to go by that quote “love like you’ve never been hurt”.. but that advice is just so hard to follow–i feel like i’m subconciously guarding myself against falling in love just because i dont want to get hurt again….see, jim lives here in maryland, and he goes to school in south carolina, where he’s also stationed for the army, so we’re almost constantly apart… why does it seem like everytime something good comes into my life, something else happens to take it away??… the only other two times i’ve fallen in love, the relationship fell apart after it became long distance… i’m just so scared and confused… *sigh*

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on another completely unrelated note, i’m soooooo glad the semester is finally over!! i really need this summer break to just think about what i’m doing with my life and to refocus my vision… the break will be good for me–cleansing even

ok, i guess that’s all for now, and i promise i’ll try and update more often over the summer… chao for now!