FUCK!!!!!

its not fair… its just so unbelievably unfair…. two months worth of entries just gone… completely wiped out of the system… entries that i had poured my heart and soul into… entries expressing my love for family and friends, anxiety over and excitement for college… thoughtful notes from beloved friends… all completely gone, because i trusted this online site with my deepest most precious thoughts and feelings… and i know its not opendiary’s fault that i will never ever EVER be able to recover these entries and notes, but i still cant help being overwhelmingly sad and upset about this (dare i say it) tragic turn of events… and the most upsetting thing of all is that of course this all happened only months after i had remarked to one of my friends that i should make my own backup copies of my entries and he told me that there was no need to do so b/c opendiary backed everything up… this is the most upsetting thing that has happened to me in awhile.. i am literally crying as i write this… the entries that i wrote during what is quite possibly one of the biggest transition times in my life are utterly gone forever… i never realized how important it was to me that i be able to look back on such entries and see how i’ve changed and grown… and now i know that its one of the most important things in the world to me… i still have diaries (hard copies, not online ones) from when i was in 5th and 6th grade… i wanted to be able to share these diaries with my children one day, so that they would know that they aren’t alone in what they’re going through… i want to be able to look back on these to remind myself of what i went through, so i can try not to make the same mistakes that i feel my parents made… and two months may not seem like a lot, but for me, it feels like two months of my life have literally been stolen away from me…

peace,
~Jen