Jeneve

December 10, 2006

Death

Thank you all for your sympathy and support. It really helps.

My brother Mike died last Tuesday peacefully in his sleep laying on the couch watching television. My Mother came to check on him Wednesday morning about 11:00. The autopsy report came back that he had a Myocardial infarction (heart attack). He also had pretty severe liver cirrhosis. My brother is/was an alcoholic. Over the past 2 years he repeatedly tried to detox himself. He’d make it through the DTs etc and not drink for a couple of weeks, but then something would happen and he’d resume drinking.

No one realized how sick he was. He wouldn’t let anyone. The lies, the stories, the detoxing. I’d helped him through 4 of them.

My brother had the biggest heart that anyone can know. He is the glue that held a lot of us together. He was close to me. He was my eldest brother Mark’s best friend. He was close to Willie, my younger brother.

I didn’t travel to Boston. Tuesday morning 3:30 am in the shower, getting ready to head to the airport I had an awful feeling that something wasn’t right. That I shouldn’t go. So I called and cancelled. I’m really pissed that this is the reason.

He’d been through so much. The betrayal of his wife having an affair with his best friend. The onset of diabetes. Taking care of his eldest dog w/diabetes. (Briggs was in pretty bad shape when we found Mike, but we were able to stabilize him with his insulin)

We will be having a private memorial service for him this Friday. Mike will be cremated and next summer we will spread his ashes on the Hoh river. A place he dearly loved to fish. My brothers, as long as I can remember, fished, hunted, dived and boated.

We spent the weekend cleaning his place. Since he totalled his jeep 4 weeks ago down by the Cowlitz river he’d been pretty much stuck at home. His youngest son had spent Monday with him and said that Mike was shaking pretty bad. He must’ve been detoxing again. Anthony had never seen him like that.

This is all so sad. Death so permanent. I feel bad for his sons as they had no real idea. And now they must process everything. They are the legal heirs. Mike’s financial situation was worse than anyone could have imagined. He lied about working (He has his own Tool and Die Shop). He was too sick to work.

My big brother – close in age to me – whom I’ve lived with on and off over my early years. (I remember between Junior and Senior years in Highschool I lived with Mike that summer) He was always there for me, helped me through so many situations. Been there for the joys and sorrows.

I couldn’t save him.

I am so so so sorry. :::hugging you::

I love you, you know that right?

Slinker

December 11, 2006

I lost a friend recently. Nothing like losing a brother, I suppose, even though he was as good as. What I mean to say, though, is that even though you couldn’t save your brother, I bet he was always glad and thankful that he had you and everyone in his family to experience life with. For a guy with so much going wrong, I reckon you and the others he loved made it easier. I’m sorry for your loss.

I’m so sorry. And no, you can’t save anyone. I think that’s a sad truth some of us must learn in the hardest way. I am so sorry for your loss.

Robin W

Warm hugs to you. Such devastation for all of you. I’m so sorry.

*hugs*

-b-

Thinking of you.

'Rella

I’m so sorry sweetie. *hugs*

Drama

Oh, I’m so very sorry. I’ll say a prayer for you and yours tonight.

Dranodrog

December 14, 2006

I’m so sorry. So, so sorry.

RYN: Oh well, it was worth a shot! We still have enough to do what we set out to do and then some. Thank you so much for contributing so generously!

EllaFairey

December 20, 2006

Oh honey I’m so sorry. Some illnesses really take up hard, and destroy us no matter how hard we try. He sounds like he was really trying. RYN: No, it’s much more than wanting to look thin, and it’s really not about worrying what other people think of me. I want to be thin because I feel disgusting WITHIN myself, to have fat on my body…I only want bones…it’s so hard to explain but once you’ve

RYN: once you’ve been really thin, you get addicted to it, to losing weight, to feeling your bones everywhere, and to the restriction, the routines with food and avoiding food, it gets to be very obsessive, and addictive, it’s like you NEED it to survive, you don’t know how you could live without it. It’s very much about control too, and having control over SOEMTHING, – your weight and food.

RYN:For a lot of people it’s about avoiding life and responsibilities, or a a way of communicating that you’re “not okay”. Many people then forget how to eat normally, and it’s such a challenge to come back to the normal world of living &eating. I am struggling now becuase I am trying to recover (not everyday, but generally I am trying), and I don’t know how to eat, I am eating just junk food now

RYN: thanks for caring and leaving a note, and wondering. Eating Disorders are very complex illnesses, and very devastating. 1 in 5 people die, 3 in five remain ill or chronic through their lives. Only about 20% make a full recovery. I’ve been sick about 6 years, but many have been sick longer. Many people have so many physical complications from this disorder too. I send my love re: your brother

Paris Rosebud

December 21, 2006

You poor thing! I feel for your loss. Please know that there are many of us out there who are willing to support you if you need to emote. 🙂

MRS

December 22, 2006

I’m so sorry Jeneve

Washington

December 26, 2006

I’m so sorry. Such a sad thing. I’m really sorry to read this.

My condolences for your loss. Big hugs,

ryn: I added you back to FO. Was paring down Faves a few weeks back and asked that people request to stay on if they wanted. 🙂 Other than what shows on my diary, all else is private now.