2nd better than the 1st

Second attempt at writing the last couple of days.

Summer is finally here. "Woot!!!" go the boys. I’ve got to find a few camps yet for David as I don’t have the luxury of having his older brother home this summer to watch him. That’s right.. the big stinky got a job. "Woot!" goes the mom. He working for my oldest brother who is a GC. I’m happy that he’ll have exposure to a real trade as most of his friends are barely getting any hours at all working for Micky D’s. So far they’ve worked his ass off, but he’s enjoying. I still have to wake him up in the morning *sigh*.

Dealing with a commercial insurance agency as Jeff totaled his car. A commercial Chevy Step Van chip truck slammed into the back of him on his last day of school. Jeff is okay, but the car I just spent a bundle replacing the transmission is a complete loss. I will have to do something about wheels before school starts in the fall as he’ll be commuting to Bremerton OC for his Running Start classes. I can’t believe he’s almost 18, going to college and working full time.

We’ll be taking time off around Aug 3rd. The whole family will be going up to the Hoh River to spread my brother’s ashes. Closure.. I guess. I was organizing cards and photos this last weekend and found a birthday card from Mike from 2 years ago. I don’t feel closure. I feel a deep loss. How does one handle closure. Recently someone asked about my immediate family and I still say I have 2 sisters and 3 brothers. But then I hesitate… "had 3 brothers…" *sigh* I suppose closure for me has been forgiveness. Forgiving him for dying, lying and being gone. Forgiving others for percieved contribution to his death… the doctors, the ex wife…. me.

Work is kicking my ass.

Your support has been phenomenal. I thank you. But you? You can go darken some other diarists door. You’re not welcome here as I imagine you are not welcome in many places. I rarely use the block function.. but you are truly worthy of it.

Love love loved!! reading about your visit to Maine. Thank you for letting us be a part of it.

God bless everyone.

Oh I remember the rush to find places for my son to stay for summer when his sisters couldn’t watch him! Closure is good, so multi-faceted sometimes ::hugs::

Sheet Music

June 25, 2007

ryn~The camp is only 1/2 day. Still think $150 is cheap?

ryn: don’t be too jealous, it also comes with new car payments lol lol :))

AmeriBrit

Hope your trip goes ok. I’ve always liked the idea of spreading ashes…wished we could have done this w/ my mom, but the boys would have objected.

No doubt the disliked diarist has a second diary and has read your message loud and clear. A good diary friend always told me that the block feature was mostly a way of telling a diarist that they are no longer welcomed or appreciated, not a way to actually keep someone OUT because this is the Internet. It’s impossible.

Dranodrog

June 27, 2007

I love the way you wrote that…

Thank YOU for letting US in. I adore you and I’m so glad you are my friend.

MRS

July 10, 2007

Seems unbelievable that you have a college aged child. We can’t have known each other THAT long can we????

FarmWife

July 12, 2007

My dear, long-time-no-read, OD friend… I am so so sorry to hear about your brother… cannot imagine your sadness… you were so connected. My misters are all still adorable, Mr17 is living with Dad in the city so I can enjoy him from a distance. Dragging ourselves out of a drought and maybe out of crippling debts. Working too hard. Sending hugs