January 6, 2009

New Beginnings

I deleted practically my whole diary. I felt like most of it didn’t really represent me anymore.

I have changed so drastically from when I first began writing here several years ago. Some for the better and some for the worse.

I have learned to trust more. Not entirely but more.

I have learned not to cut at the first sight of trouble. Not entirely stopping, but with much time in between. I think I might never fully quit.

I don’t hate my life anymore. I question it sometimes, but I have learned to love the good moments and deal with the bad when they happen.

I’ve grown to understand people a little more. None are wholly innocent, nor wholly evil, although some can be more evil than others.

I have also learned what I consider a not so good trait of judging immediately and never allowing for that view to change, i attribute this to having not trusted my instincts about the person who attacked me.

I’ve learned to open my heart to people who open theirs to me.

I’m not completely finished with the changes that I need to make in my life, but I’m getting there and I like this person a whole lot more.

I’m glad you have learned your life lessons along the way… sometimes not fixing your habits completely is an easier way to deal with life then putting them out of bounds completely! See temptation! xx

it is amazing how people change over the years! ryn: i also have access to a pretty awsome gym but my only problem is that a lot of our atheletes are in there the times that i work out and it is like a first come first serve type of thing. they always take the good machines and leave everyone else with the older machines! it pisses me off. so i have to find a new time to go. its frustrating!

New starts are always great. I am also embarrassed by society… I mean, at times, I’d love to scream a great quote from A Fish Called Wanda at everyone: “Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!” Many of our best members were killed at the stake.

I totally know what you mean about not opening your heart to people who open theirs to you. It’s like they just want you to listen to their sob story instead of just enjoying their actual company. I’ve come to realize that they’re the people who will hurt you the most, and the ones who will start the most drama.