Realization

Now that we’ve bought a netbook (actually a “mini-notebook” but there’s no DVD drive so…whatever) since we gave our laptop to my Mom (we didn’t need a giant laptop anymore) I can update in full sometime when I’m not super tired. Maybe tomorrow? Anyway here’s what I realized today:

If I hadn’t lost that pregnancy I would be due this month. I actually would be due on Sunday. I would most likely either be having a baby right now or super close to having a baby right now.

I know we weren’t ready and it’s best in the end that what happened, happened. But today I felt a little sad that it wasn’t to be and that I wasn’t hugely pregnant or holding another little baby.

One of these days we WILL be ready to actually attempt (on purpose this time) to give Monkey a sibling. Until then (which will be a long while) I’ll be loving my little man with all that is in me on a daily basis.