Nights 1, 2 & 3

C-PAP. not working so great for me. started thurs pm, went to bed at 10, and at 1:45 wanted to throw the thing across the room. Fri: 11 to 4 am, i went a long time! But at 4 am took the thing off. Sat PM 11-12; seriously???!!?!?! i wanted to throw the thing across the room. i could NOT sleep. at about 1AM i decided to give it another whirl. i have no idea what time in the night i took it off again, but hopefully the stupid SD card has enough data for the studies. got up around 6:30 i think.

** came to the realization that i do not have to take the thing off when it becomes obnoxious. i just need to turn it off, and let it go back on. **

so we will see what Night 4 brings.

Discouraged that i have apnea. discouraged that it is not obstructive and the C-PAP is not really going to fix it. Got a battery of medical tests starting tomorrow to figure out just what on earth is going on. i don’t mind doing the tests. i am happy for those of you for whom the C-PAP works. i do not like it. Praying they don’t find an anomoly they cannot provide treatment for.

i talked to hubby (who is out of town) and told him about it. I got a lecture. really? yes really. makes me not wanna go see him next week.

Life is not offering me a routine, and i want routine in my life. I am struggling.

faith hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.