new vs used

we bought a used van 2 yrs ago. it was quite the sales job. we spent a lot of money, but i loved that van. it was my vehicle and i was very used to things. i took good care of it. i was good about the oil changes and tune ups, tires, and even replaced the windshield! when we bought it, the dealership talked us into doing the paint protection thing, which actually is pretty good. costly, but it helps the paint look good when clean.

it just turned 100,000 miles and i felt it had a lot left in it. A LOT. I kept hinting when it was at 75, 80, 85… should we trade? since we let it go to 100, i figured it was here to stay and REALLY settled in knowing this was my van forever and ever.

i hate it when someone takes my van somewhere and i have to drive my son’s car or whatever. i mean, that is the way it goes cuz everyone likes my van.

hub took my van on a trip and it was giving him trouble. i was pretty freaked out cuz i had come to rely on that van and really trusted it to not break down.

so i thought to have hub take it to the dealership where we got it, because that is where he was on his trip, or nearby anyway. we live a long ways from anything so it was an opportunity to visit the dealership and get their service on their vehicle. no warranty of course. at 100,000. i think you can see where this is going.

the salesmen had him test drive a few others. test drive a new one. he called me. should he consider another van? I said no. He said he was looking at a new one just like the one I have only brand new. Now that sounded pretty nice, so I said, well, maybe. Next thing I know he is calling me for finance information so we can trade in my lovely van for a new one. Now I really freaked out. I called him back and said, wait a minute! i am not ready to give up my old van! he said, too late.

Now this may seem very strange and like i don’t appreciate the new one. That is why I am writing this entry. I gotta get this down on paper and get past my feelings on this.

the new van comes home. it is nice. hub didn’t treat the paint on the NEW van. we paid a lot for the first van, the used one, and let it go to 100,000 and took a huge loss, and he traded it in for a new one. now this was my fault, cuz he said, should we sell it, and i said no. if you are going to do this trade it in. i don’t want to mess with two vans in my driveway for who knows how long, having to license and insure both of them. my bad.

the new van comes home. it is nice. hub says, well, since it is new we won’t drive it so much and keep the miles down. what? i said, you should not have bought a new van if that is what you think. we will have 100 k on it in less than 3 yrs. he said, no, i said yes. i said you should not have traded off my van and expect to change our driving habits. that is why we got the van. i was happy with the old one. we go on long, long trips with the kids and especially now that they are older. it is the last few years we will have our kids along on trips before they go on with their lives and buy their own vans or whatever to take their families in…

so my regrets, and why oh why am i always so regretful.

i regret losing my old van, that i took such good care of that had a nice wax job because of the treatment of the paint, that had lotsa miles and hub could care less how many more i put on, and i could park it anywhere int he parking lot because it had dings and scratches when we bought it. i regret. i gotta get past this. it is driving me nuts.

now i have a brand new van. yes, i should appreciate it. but i have to worry about someone opening their door into it and scratching it up. i have to worry about eating in it and spilling food. we were careful in the old van, but it was old. big deal. i want my old van. and this is so silly of me. i guess i am a penny pincher too, and i see how we could have gotten a lot more life outta that old van. i told hub before he bought it i would rather have a driveway because my driveway is really broken up. I said, i would rather spend the money onthe driveway to park it on…. i made the mistake of thinking outloud that we could probably afford both. my bad. help me out here! how can i get past this? appreciate it, man! you have a new van! but I want my old one with no payments that i could park anywhere in teh parking lot. i want my old one that had more cup holders (amazing but true)

i am so pathetic. this happens every time i lose an old car unless i hate the car like the one before the van. i have regretting selling several cars in my life and getting different ones. i was SO mad at hub for selling a little grand am that I drove and drove. Same thing, who cares, i could park it anywhere, and it had lotsa miles. when it was gone i got the car i came to hate terribly which is what my son drives. i was really bummed. that is long ago and i remember it only because i have to write about this one. so maybe the feelings will subside. it is like i gave up the “better” vehicle for my needs. SIgh. Too late now. I gotta get over this. hub will think i don’t appreciate it and i know he did it cuz he wanted to do something nice for me, although he did not know i would use the new van like i used the old van. i should have told him that on the phone before he bought it. if i would have said that i plan to put 100 k on it in less than 3 yrs, he would probalby not have bought it. what was i thinking. i hope he never buys a vehicle without me there again (at least if it is the one i am going to drive everywhere everyday of the year.) I gotta get beyond this. sorry so long but i gotta figure this out. i can’t go on not appreciating it. i feel so guilty to not appreciate it. but i don’t want to make payments. i don’t want to worry about everything because it is brand new. i have already determined that i will not worry about it. i will just drive it like i did the other one, but you just don’t. not when it is brand new.

well, i am thankful. i am thankful i have a van. i just loved my old one more. maybe this one will grow on me.

the other problem is that i really want to quit my job, and now we have payments again. i would have preferred to quit my job and drive my old lovely van. so sad. my bad. oh well. i feel so guilty for not being thankful.

i don’t feel any better. in fact, it occurs to me that hub probably regrets it too now that he knows it will be treated like the old one before too long. the first scratch is going to be a big, big deal. the first spill. the first whatever.

can i go back and change it? no. do i even want to? yes. pretty much. if i could, i would. but i think hub’s feelings would be hurt. i DON’T want to do that. I have to learn to appreciate it. I owe it to him to let myself love the new van. In that case, I am getting the paint treated. sheesh, like we can afford that now that we bought this thing.

faith hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.